Welcome to S-Type's Words To Live By

What is this you ask? Other than, you know. Words to live by. This is a blog written by an undergraduate English Major with little experience and big plans. It is her sincere dream to be a writer someday, so she feels like it's time to finally crawl out of her dark cave and be a writer for the people.

What can you expect? Standard internet fare really. Snark, humor, bits on life, and lots and lots of fanbetchery. So just sit back, relax, and enjoy.
Showing posts with label Writing About Writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Writing About Writing. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

The State of the Nerdom: Lady Geeks

This blog isn't ever going to be too political. It's not because I feel no such desire to indulge in more political angles nor out of fear of controversy, as I like a good bitch fight as much as the next guy. But this is a point that I have to weigh in on, a point lacking distinctly in sexyness and fun-lovingness. It includes a lot of topics that my readership may find philosophically and psychologically intimidating, including "girls", "social responsibility", and Sephiroth manporn. However, we're here, we're geeky, and we're on an internet nerd blog, so I think we can all competently view ourselves as inquisitive and intellectually adventurous people. Or trolls. Whatevs.

That said, I know that the things I am proposing are a little heavy, so to ease any hurt feelings and high blood pressure, I have thoroughly saturated this blog post with adorable pictures of little kitties to sooth any wounded psyches.

Now to the topic at hand: the treatment and portrayal of female nerds.



Let's start first with a little sense of context. Yes yes, you got me. I am a feminist.

Put your guns down for a second guys. What I am not, and I stress again, am not is an overbearing female supremacist. Nor am I a frigid lesbian who hates any object that's longer than it is wide. Nor am I an ugly internet mofo seething with jealousy over buxom superheroines and anime girls with chronic inability to competently use braziers (in fact, I have it on supreme authority that I am drop dead sexy, but that's neither here nor there). Nor am I an extremely competent male troll (an easy mistake to make). Nor am I some sort of Jason Voorheez, drill carrying psychopath waiting for the right opportunity to jump out of the computer and put my wares straight into your nethers. I'm just a normal girl who wants people to treat each other kindly and nonjudgmentally regardless of which set of chromosome their particular fertilizing sperm had in the glove compartment.

Further more in the "you got me" department is, well, I am a nerd, and I have at least some semblance of sexual attraction to women. So it would be easy to point out a lot of points I present in hypocrisy, especially when I bring home the point of this post that I've been skating around somewhat before this point.

Female nerds are treated with casual disregard at kindness and an unfair double standard at worst, despite their behaviors, origins, and motivations being almost identical to their male counterparts.


I know that whether your reaction to this is "well no freaking duh, potato-face" or "this is one crappy-ass reason to put your School Days reviews on hold", this is a pretty blunt claim to make. But we really have to look this one in the face here, guys. I will be the first to agree, and understand, and to a certain degree respect, that a majority of geek culture, including cartoons, comic books, video games, and many old-school cartoons, are traditionally catered to the male demographic. And I will concede that this not a trait that should be immediately damned.

It goes without saying that even if the original demographics of these genres, or even most medias, were by males for males, they're rich in literary merit, speak to the universal human condition, and are enjoyable and enriching (the not awful ones anyway). Not to mention that if its original creators and intended audience did not exist, a lot of the elements of the culture we prize wouldn't exist as well, even the material that's reactionary to it. But keeping this in mind, it all leads up to a very strong and very uncomfortable question:

Just how many narrative and artistic mediums are targeted specifically to the female demographic, let alone exclusively?

The only real genre I can think of is romance, and even that is a genre that's treated with little respect and seriousness of artistic merit, unless its a subplot to a more sprawling storylline. Mystery too, sometimes, but even that's treated in the "lower" mediums. So what about other genres, or indeed, what about other media outlets in general? Pretty much every medium, be it books, television, movies, radio, mainstream internet blogs and webcomics, games, graphic novels, and the like tend to be written for a male demographic, or at least with the male demographic taking some semblance of precedence.

The good news in all this, if you're looking for it, is that the geek industry seems to be no better or worse than mainstream culture in general. The bad news is...the geek industry seems to be no better or worse than mainstream culture in general. One could infer that this is because a majority of writers and directors of any of these mediums tend to be men themselves, but that whole issue brings back the elephant-in-the-room societal feminism thing.

A lot of geeks counter that Anime and Manga and JRPG boom of the nineties and naughts brought the girl geeks into the mix, so they consider it the token "girly" expression of media. But let's be real here. Both in JRPGs and Animanga, the target demographic, or at least the most notable examples in the genre, still got their male on. If we were to ratio iconic JRPG male protagonists to iconic female protagonists, especially if we discount those who became iconic by virtue of their sex appeal, I think we both know who'd get the larger number in the ratio.

Same goes for Anime and Manga. The big names of the genre, such as Cowboy Bebop, Neon Genesis Evangelion, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, and others claim to be more gender neutral with their inclusion of a lot of girls, and a lot of kickass girls at that, but the main thematics of all series, most notably the male protagonist against the male antagonists, and the disproportionate attention given to the sex appeal of the female cast of all of the above, I think we can safely say that it's target audience is still very much dude.

In the few Animes that have managed to gain popularity despite it's female-targeted audience, such as Sailor Moon and Revolutionary Girl Utena, there still is a utilization of ample cheesecake from the female protagonists to, oddly, keep the periphery male demographic appeased, even when both have male representation in their works (alright Sailor Moon was kind of sketchy with its dudes, but so was Cowboy Bebop with its chicks, so thar ya go).

Which only raises more uncomfortable questions, such as why do we need to appease this particular demographic and not girls? Girls are still a minority in a lot of geeky things, but their demographic is numerous none the less. Most counts are at least 40% in most mediums. That's a lot. To put things in perspective, 40% accounts for the percentage of our planet's landmass. And especially in America, we need as many geeks as we can get, n'est pas? Moreover, why does this hyper-extend into other medias? Do we think that girls just don't watch TV, or movies, or read at all? What do we think girls do all day? Knit? Anyone?


I'm getting a little off topic here, so let's get back to the girl geeks themselves. I will NOT say that nerds are sexist, because for all my snarling, I don't believe that's true in the slightest bit. If anything, I've think Nerds tend to have racked themselves into a neo-Knight in Shining Armor mentality, which is a fault I will explain later. But I will go as far as to say that a lot of Nerds are generally uncomfortable around women.

The pedigree of the Nerd is the outcast, the beat around, the kid who had to create their own subculture of which they could be properly appreciated and interact with their fellow Nerds. They're already social awkward, abused, mistrusted, and misrepresented. And one of the big reasons the nerds broke off from the mainstream, or had a hard time synchronizing with it, is an acute awkwardness around women. It's a marked difference between the nerd and the jock.

Hence the problem of the introduction of the girl nerd. It can be intimidating to be in a demographic that is not your own, yes, but it can be just as disconcerting when things are the other way around. Those unfamiliar with the finner nuances and manners in the community they try to establish themselves in can be shocking at kindest, bafoonish at worst. No one likes the Leeroy Jenkins on your MMO team. We know this.

We have come a really long way. We're no longer in the era where girls will be sneered at and harassed just for using the internet. Yet there is still a definite discomfort when girls get into the geeky mix, especially if these girls are making any expressions of their own femininity or heterosexuality. Fact is, the same awkward-around-the-opposite-sex, not-conventionally-appealing reasons a lot of guys raise the geek flag to begin with is the exact same reason a lot of girl geeks do the same thing. And when you have two groups of people who are, I would argue, both high on hormones and massively sexual repressed, things are going to explode.

Take, for instance, the Draco in Leather Pants cliche. A TV Tropes term, it basically refers to a softness to the point of sympathetic fetishism toward a fictional character due to his or her sex appeal despite being a conventionally evil or dangerous person. As one can expect, this trope is usually seen in pretty negative regard, and as suggested by the title, is often a stereotype attached to female practitioners. To put things in lamens terms, if miss geek thinks Sephiroth is a sexy muffin cakes, makes fan comics of him, and keeps a ninety-five dollar statue of him on her dresser, she's often seen as a giggling, drooling fangirl and don't you get he wants nothing more than to slice you in half. If mister nerd thinks that Bayonetta is a damn fox, draws fanart of her to various degrees of titillation, and has a life sized body pillow her, conventional wisdom indicates the dude's just being smart.

Another manifestation is the treatment of Yaoi Fangirls. Note that even the producers of media frequently in question are above throwing a little girl-on-girl cuddling to get the viewership's attention, plausibility to actual characterization notwithstanding. But girl geeks who do the same with any popular male characters in fanwork, especially if said characters have a sizable male fanbase, are delusional, perverted, and sometimes downright sick, or at the very least going too far.

It tends to be assumed that expressions of sexuality in geeky media are acceptable, and strangely, fanservice catered to females seems to be more publicaly sympathized to that of males. Yet there's still a slight frowning upon, or at least confusion or questioning of, women who actively seize these opportunities for themselves, despite their male counterparts doing such long before the conventional regard of their resistance. Putting the debate of the necessity of fanservice to appease these expressions aside, female and male geeks that tend to view the other sides sexual expressions as degrading or irrational seems to contain more than a modicum of hypocrisy, as both sides are more or less engaging in the exact same behavior, with the only difference being that one has had more time to establish it as a norm within the circle.


Last, and most controversially, we look at the difference between the courtship expectancies of the male nerd versus that of the female nerd. The first is the concept of what the internet likes to call "Nice Guy Syndrome". The "well meaning and thus deserving nice guy" mantra is as old as dirt, and while most people realize that things tend to be a bit more complicated than that, it's still a mindset that easily pervades the geekdom.

The basic philosophy is thus: "Jocks and bros are total assholes, yet they get all the girls. Girls should not want total assholes. Thus, they should give me a chance, for I am distinctly not an asshole." On the surface, this makes perfect sense. I'm a woman, and I don't want to date an asshole, so I can certainly relate. But here's the thing--nice, while being a critical reason to enter a relationship, is a reason. Sadly, just like you want a girl who's more than "nice" and "hot", we want a guy who's more than...well, just nice.

Getting out Interpersonal Relationships 101, yes, it's important to be a good person and to have good intentions with a person, and most people grasp that concept pretty easily, especially nerds like us, who have been pushed around as much as anyone. And bro, I am not knocking dating nerds. I am a girl dating a nerd, and I can vouch for them being highly underrated romantic partners. That being said, being nice alone does not entitlement make. Having anyone, male or female, date anyone else because they aren't beaten and abused isn't nice-that is what we call Stockholm Syndrome. And if you're taking a women's study class and cursing it for giving you the edge to pick up chicks to appreciate your sensitivity, well, you're a different breed entirely my friend.

That being said, the "Give Geeks a Chance" mentality is still alive and well in the community. And it appears everywhere. Revenge of the Nerds really kicked this trend off, to be followed by various others, including Back to the Future, Spider Man, Seinfeld, Kim Possible, pretty much every Woody Allen movie, so on and so forth.

And that's all well and good, because hey, geeks deserve a chance. Though this process is oddly reversed when it comes to a female geek. If a female geek wants to get the hot guy, then by the powers that be woman, brush your frizzball head, ditch the glasses, and get yourself a form-fitting tube top. We can see this in Grease, The Breakfast Club, Carrie (it didn't end too spectacularly, but...), The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya (Yuki may be the most unnecessary glasses-pull character in all of media), about 83% of chick flicks (ironically), so on and so forth.

So to wrap this all up, geeks deserve a chance. Understandable. Male geeks deserve a chance. Understandable. But here's yet another million dollar question-if we're coded to think that male geeks deserved to have their feelings considered beyond their outward appearances by really hot women, why don't girls get the same thing? If we're trying to push the idea that geeks deserve to be accepted despite outward appearances, then giving the implicit task of half of the geek population to change themselves to fit a conventional standard of presentation, then what exactly does that say about the group itself, let alone the overarching societal implications?

To quote Oscar Wilde, "The only thing easier than solving all of societies ills is to bitch about them on a generic internet blog". We know the why, but what about the elusive how? Well, like I said, at heart, this is a deeply entrenched social issue, and the jury's still out on how good or bad the problem is, even among the feminists.

And frankly, the how isn't altogether pleasant. Even on a personal level, it's going to be a lot of hard work. It's going to take girls admitting that men aren't all that different from us in regards to having kinks for fictional characters, and revoking our rights to play the "men are pigs" card whenever we spot an inch of cleavage. It's going to take guys losing their rights to roll their eyes every time "feminism" appears on the internet, and willing to concede some points that the girls bring up are reasonable. Its going to take both sides being fair-minded and sympathetic to the plights of the other, and, when it's our turn to take up the writing and creating of the media that we ourselves adored, we're going to need to find ways to broaden demographics and tweak tropes and concepts that are throughly embedded in said mediums, even though it's going to take more than a little more creativity and will probably be the victim to more than a little backlash by loyalists.

But I think, if we can really look this problem in the face, and if we can address it realistically, we can do good for geekdom as a whole. We can broaden demographics, bring more people into a culture we love, both men and women, and our own culture can be enriched by the new and the innovative. What's more, we can sooth a lot of hurt feelings within our community, on both sides, and we can finally bridge a few gaps that we've been struggling to overcome long before this became an issue. And what's more, we, as a group, can do the right thing. We've all been mistreated and misrepresented for reasons we do not deserve. This is a huge chance to put our best foot forward, to show everyone, not just ourselves, that we can be progressive, tolerant, and morally responsible individuals.

We can really show the world our stuff if we do this right guys. I know I've got a long way to go, and I certainly slip up now and again, but I'm doing my best for that cause. And if anyone reads this and tries a little harder to do so because of it, then frankly, I'd be very honored. And if not, well, come back next time for some tits and ass. That's guarenteed.

This has been your loyal host, S-type. Good night, and good luck!

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All images of cute kitties are courtesy of photobucket and belong to their respected owners.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

The Trials of the Writer

I have officially been working at Walmart for two days, and it has only confirmed that I will go insane unless I manage to find a job I love. It doesn't help that I've discovered my position is "temporary setup", which loosely translates to "heavy box bitch". The red flag really should have come up when I had to watch three separate videos on safe lifting. Needless to say, the alarm was blaring when I was casually asked to put three air conditioner sets back on the shelf all by myself.

Anyway, to the point. The more I work, the more I have to focus on the fact that my job is merely a stepping stone to my true dream-to be a writer. Oh yes, that's the life for me! To be a smarmy, skin-so-untouched-by-natural-light-it's-translucent little glass'd nerd banging at a laptop today as a career. To actually kick back and to listen to the little voices inside my head for pay. And I'd watch the scholars find complex symbolism in my work and rub it in the face of the next generation, thus inspiring them to hate my work and write their own as a retort. And I'd watch as the beloved characters I create are worshiped creepily on the internet, and portrayed as out of character, deviant, overly-angsty lunatics in fanfiction. That is the life I aspire to. This is the world I wish to be a part of!

However! I am not so naive as to know that I have a long way to go before I could ever be in this pantheon, this elite, this heavenly sphere of rich smartasses. It's a massive, brutal road, filled with blood, sweat, and overpaid agents. There are pot holes at every corner, and it takes every little bit of free time you can spare. And you know, being a writer isn't really easy. I'm not kidding. As the title of this blog suggests, there are many massive challenges a writer must face, even outside of getting published and screaming groupies.

WALMART

As mentioned, publishing doesn't happen overnight. A newbie writer is lucky if they get their first book published within two years, and that's without a writer's inherent massive sex appeal. So a writer has to find another way to keep bread on the table, which means a writer needs at least one sucky job on the side. True, getting a sucky job to finance a better career isn't exclusive to the writing field*, but like any creative job, it's a part of the process to the point of being a rite of passage. However, if you're a writer and currently are worried about putting bread on the table, look forward to my next post plugging some excellent recipes for rejection letters.

It's sad, but every good artist, a writer included, needs to eventually look forward to working at a job that is a tad less endearing than one would hope for. On my repertoire, I have worked as a cashier, a heavy box bitch, and a bar wench. And that's just summer jobs. There's something morbidly exciting about wondering what sort of strange and unnatural job I'll get when I'm done with school and out on my own. I'm hoping for either plucky young twenty-something amateur sleuth or sky pirate. Though I'll probably end up working at Starbucks, which is almost kind of straddling the two. Especially with those new mansion with a huge inheritance secret death star kiosks.

I NEED AN EDITOR

I am not an idiot, even if I know five year olds that have a better grasp of spelling and grammar than I. I don't know what it is, but I have no eye for the mechanical aspect of writing. My loyal and beloved readers (both of them) have each found multiple typos and mistakes in my work, despite my hardest efforts to proofread and double check and spell check to my hearts content. I don't know how I've lived here all my life, spoken this language all my life, was reading by age two, writing ever since I was thirteen, and still always manage to forget how to spell "later" versus "latter". I look like I'm doing this on purpose.

If I'm going to be a writer, I definitely need an editor. Ah, that sounds so romantic. Someone who'll correct all your stupid mistakes for you. It doesn't matter if you just spit out a huge, gibbering mess with little thought or consideration, your editor will be by your side to fix up all your stupid mistakes with a bounce in his or her step and a smile on his or her face. Like a butler, or a friendly toaster oven. Mmm, I like the sound of that. But I'd think it would be hard to get someone in on that deal. I mean, do you know who Stephen King's editor is? I don't.

YOU HAVE TO WRITE ALL THE TIME

You really do. Books and articles don't write themselves. I don't know whether it's because I have a slow brain, slow fingers, or someone slapped a flux capacitor on my back again, but it takes a lot of time to write a book, or even just an article here on the blog. Certainly a lot longer than it does to think one up. I've spent the whole day on some of the these blog entries. The last Angel Food and Devil Dogs review took five or six hours to complete. Five hours is a lot of time!That's more than a season of Venture Bros dude! I barely have enough time knit, read yaoi fanfiction, and complain about how bored I am these days.

It's not that it's anything bad or anything. I love to write, so it's not that I regret spending all that time on it. But it can be a bit of a trick managing to balance it into your schedule, especially when things like going to work and actually needing to go to class get in the way. It doesn't help that I'm at a decided disadvantage by being one of the few artists out there who actually needs to sleep. I know some creative art people who can live on three hours of sleep a night, but if I don't get eight hours a pop, the nose goblins that live under my dirty clothes pile starts talking again. So I have to get used to going to bed at 10-11 PM again, which brings back uncomfortable memories of Middle and High School. And summer camp at the Y.

GENERAL INSANITY

Contrary to popular opinion, not all writers are inherently depressed, gay, or crazy. It's more of an occupational hazard. Like any good artist, a writer's job is to both represent and reflect life. And anyone who's lived life for more than five minutes is probably aware of what a massively stressful job it is. Not to mention us American writers have to do so with the English Language, the most gawrdawful cumbersome language there is. It steals words from freaking everyone, it has a million different grammatical rules, and then people go turn punctuation marks into faces. I have a hard enough time describing why The Police are awesome, and you want me to discern inter- and extra-personal cosmology? Why don't you ask me to play "Psychobilly Freakout" with my elbows and blindfolded while your at it?

Just like consorting with the dark one and full-time employment at the Gap, everyone feels the strain of writing a little differently, and everyone deals with it differently. Some people just get swallowed up and do go full-on insane, others turn to alcoholism, isolation, and chicks, or some people like me numb their personality on JRPGs and Britcoms. As for the gay, I have a lot of theories, but the most credible ones have something to do with Shakespeare and/or Microsoft Office 97.

IT'S HARD TO STAY PALE

Bloody summer. I swear, I was just outside the other day needing to warm myself up in the sun, because for some reason, they air condition the employee training room to subarctic degrees below zero. Eventually, since it is summer, I decide I start to feel a little hot, so I go inside. When I take a shower that night? Color. Freaking color. Granted, it's only like, a eensy bit and you can't even see it, but DANG. It's going to take me days to make it go away.

Writers have an image to preserve. I have no idea what it is, but I'm sure it is one. If anything else, every writer needs a visual trademark, and my brunette-to-black-hair against my whitest-kid-on-the-block skin with my monochromatic-and-sometimes-red outfits is mine. Tampering with the image of a writer violates the natural order. And even though I'm whiter than a fifties sitcom, I still have to be on constant vigilance. Doesn't help that I inherited the ability to tan at the drop of a hat from my Mom's side of the family. Needing to go outside-you continue to be the bane of my existence.

FREAKING WRITER'S BLOCK

Some people have an affinity certain good qualities in writing. Some people just seem to be really good at spelling and grammar (and in my opinion, very few people deserve a richer slap for being so...unless they want to be my editor, of course). Some people are really good at thinking interesting plots or narration. Some people have a gift at writing dialog so complex and nuanced that it makes you feel like you really are listening to people talking. Some writers are just good at that intangible, indescribable something that makes something fun to read. The nice thing about all of this is that with a little practice, everyone can get competent in these fields, and it becomes much easier to be able to summon them as time goes on. But nobody, and I mean nobody manages to go steady with inspiration.

Okay, that's not necessarily true. Like everything else, practicing thinking creatively will eventually lead to creative thoughts. The more you learn the rules, the more you learn to twist them and break them down. And yet for some, stupid reason, despite your best intentions, every once in awhile, inspiration will decide she needs to see other people, leaving you an empty mess, staring a a blank screen in Microsoft Word for the last hour or so. And like any other job, when a writer can't write, a writer feel like they've failed the universe. It's an ugly feeling. Thankfully, when inspiration does come back, it comes back with the force of a sledgehammer to the solar plexus. But still, the fact that the feeling will jump you despite best intentions is disheartening. The best and pretty much only method to deal with it is to keep writing things out and hoping good something comes eventually. It's as fun as it sounds.

ENDING STUFF

I've once been told that writing is a lot like flying a plane-the only really dangerous parts are taking off and landing. I've never had a problem getting any sort of written project off the ground, but I guess it's traded off in the fact that ending it is an ordeal. Like this post for instance. I have no idea how I'm going to tie up all the loose ends. I mean, should I go all classic and make some statement like "but in the face of all this, a real writer does not care and blah blah bloop de blah", or should I end with a funny anecdote? Summarize the events in a clever matter? Rick Roll all of you?

Ending any piece of writing is like trying to carry a tray of drinks to the table. Any old jerk can carry and empty tray to the kitchen and put a huge pile of drinks on it. It takes a real hero to be able to carry that all the way back to the living room, find the best place to sit it down, and do so without spilling everything all over the place. But when you do it, you feel like a million bucks. Maybe that's why I have a weak spot for stories that have good endings. They don't need to be happy or sad, but when an author can tie up everything just right, no matter how crazy and ridiculous the events may be, it doesn't feel like it was all that bad when you manage to walk off feeling like you're taking away something. And when you do manage to put that tray down just right without spilling a drop, you can't help but think, "Yeah. Yeah I'm awesome."

I think a lot of things are like that. It takes a lot of effort to do any sort of big project or long-term goal, or short term ones, for that matter, and you'll have good times, bad times, and you'll wonder if you'll ever be able to pull it off. But when you do manage to finish it, whether it just be your chores for the day or building a house, you can't help but wear that smug smile, nod to yourself, and be amazed at how awesome you are. Getting through anything from start to finish is no small task, but when you full it off, the feeling you have can't quite be compared to anything else.

And I still hate working at Walmart.

*Professions exempt from the sucky job clause include lawyers, billionare playboys by day who are superheroes by night, criminal masterminds, and milkmen.