Welcome to S-Type's Words To Live By

What is this you ask? Other than, you know. Words to live by. This is a blog written by an undergraduate English Major with little experience and big plans. It is her sincere dream to be a writer someday, so she feels like it's time to finally crawl out of her dark cave and be a writer for the people.

What can you expect? Standard internet fare really. Snark, humor, bits on life, and lots and lots of fanbetchery. So just sit back, relax, and enjoy.
Showing posts with label Nerd Theatre. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nerd Theatre. Show all posts

Monday, July 25, 2011

To the planning team of the Texas Battlefield 3 launch party...

While I'm sure you need don't need one more letter from one those angry little potential customers, dropping on top of the avalanche of hate mail being shoved into your mail slot as we speak, may I kindly ask you to reconsider completely screwing over yourselves and the product you're trying to sell.

I am referring, of course, to your recent move to make the launch party for the military shooter, Battlefield 3, exclusive to males. I have to admit that I'm generally against gender exclusion in all organizations and events, especially geared toward people over ten. But if you just left it as a sincere "gentlemen's retreat" that you're pinning it as now, it'd leave a bitter taste in my mouth, but I certainly wouldn't burn down any houses over it. But this is the reason you cited when making your choice:

"Nothing ruins a good LAN party like uncomfortable guests or lots of tension, both of which can result from mixing immature, misogynistic male-gamers with female counterparts. Though we've done our best to avoid these situations in years past, we've certainly had our share of problems. As a result, we no longer allow women to attend this event."


I know that you changed the wording, so it now sounds more like a "hey ladies, we hate these pervy guys as much as you do, so we're going to make sure to give these jerks a good stern talking to so they know better next time" sort of thing*. And I commend you for doing it reasonably quickly in response to the reaction the gaming community had to your open and unapologetic punishment of the victims of bullying and slurs whom you were too lazy to get off your sorry asses and defend.

Something like this really speaks for itself, and most everyone has commented about sexism, how you're an absolute disgrace to gaming, how you're putting us all back, how it's blatantly unjust, and how hypocritical to the point of ironic it is that you're too lazy to do anything but ban your female participants and simultaneously do nothing, either positive or negative, in regards to other groups that face unfortunately common insults and attacks, such as racial minorities or members of the LGBT network. And while I'm not sure what was going through your head during all this, I'm willing to not buy into the idea that you really are the ignorant, grass chewing pig dogs you're currently presenting yourself as.

But redundant or not, I'm gotta say it--they're absolutely right. You're encouraging a mentality that holds gamers, male and female, as a bunch of liable, drooling sheep that can only be herded off to separate pens instead of actually be treated like human beings. People are in the right to be angry that you're too busy spending their money to take a cheap and lazy way out of helping and protecting your customers and improving your community's PR. And even though everyone who wants to participate has just as much potential for spending power, you're punishing and excluded a whole group of them from your products before they can even decide if they want to buy them, which is both really stupid, and really, really jackassy.

I hate to bring money into all this, but you've really dug yourself into the red, guys. You're earning yourself some serious flack right off the bat; almost every prestigious gaming blog screaming about this, and the sun hasn't even set on this yet. You shouldn't be worried about this costing you revenue, because you're already losing it. If you really are hoping to get the 11 million units that you're banking out of this game, then you better back up and apologize right now. If you haven't already lost a big chunk of that from alienating the girls, there's a good chance you will. They're not the only ones who are pissed off at you right now.

But if for whatever reason, you really are a member of the same community of knuckle-dragging, ill-spoken dicks that you're implying the gaming community is at an essence (thanks a lot for that by the way), and all you really care about is a couple bucks wasted on a guy to tell people to go home if they start harassing the players, then fine. See this? It's a few twenties that can be spent on your new game. Kiss your wife good-bye, bitch. You aren't going to see her where she's going.

Regards,

S-Type

*bullcrap, bee tee dubs

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Faux Poor Poorbetch Special: Catherine Demo


So almost immediately after I spend lauding it, Atlus USA (the tease) goes and releases the demo for Catherine on the PSN. I'd glee at any opportunity to get more information on it, of course, but it's also gives me a great opportunity to explain a game that probably deserves a little more context and background than a three-or-four paragraph summary. When I first introduced this game on the blog, it never occurred to me that there may be some of you out there who see men seduced by women with hair shaped like a couple of chandeliers grafted to their heads, gets steer horns and runs around in big boy undies and a pillow, and climbs blocks that unapologeticly eviscerate the laws of physics while running away from a fifty-foot zombie chick with an afro, and respond with a gentle "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS PORNO DRUGGIE BULLCRAP".

So for you people that have only relied on my gut instincts and some really strange trailers, fear not! I now have more solid material to give you a better overview/introduction to the proud first entry of the up-and-coming "erotic horror puzzle platformer" genre. Maybe it's because I've had little other experience in the EHPP niche, but this game is definitely not like anything I've played before (in a good way), and is already on its way to exceeding it's already high bar. Don't believe me? Let's take a closer look.


For those of you who missed the previous FPPS, here's the post-it note summary of Catherine: everloser geekboy senior with a pink shirt cheats on his girlfriend, a seasonal gypsy curse rolls through town, and freaky stuff happens. Sounds like a typical day at the movies right? Ah ha ha, WRONG, because our hero starts dreaming that he needs to climb a huge tower made of magic storage bins that he has to shove around to make a stairway, climbing to safety before the blocks below him give out and he falls to his doom. Typical overly symbolic puzzle game right? Oh ho ho, WRONG, because this was made in Japan, so there's something weird that's chasing him all the way up, one of them being a psychotic representation of his pissed off girlfriend wielding a white 'fro and a huge fork she uses to pop him like a balloon with little pink rubbery bits in the middle.

Yeah. It's a huge post-it note.

What originally got me hooked on the game was the reputable team behind (Atlus's Persona 4 team, FYI), the theme monogamy versus non-commitment, oft not explored in games, and the game's unspoken promise of not being quite like anything you've played before. And it meets those expectations really well (for the hour or so I've played anyway). But other things I was banking on, like a distinctly edgy presentation and a battle system meant to break the Atlus fanboy brain rather than delight and amuse, were actually revered entirely. Unsurprisingly, it's for the absolute better.


The biggest thing that surprised me is the gamemplay is a blast. It basically works like this: you're given a huge wall of blocks stacked in a peculiar way, and it's your job to move the blocks to create a stairway to climb up to the top. Sounds simple and kind of tedious, right? But for reasons I'm having a hard time putting my thumb on, it's seriously and surprisingly enjoyable. First off, the controls are extremely simple, and tightened to a needlepoint. 3-D and platforming have always been on uneasy terms, but this is definitely one of the better designs. The controls are done on the d-pad as opposed to the joystick, so it makes for much more accurate, almost 2-D movements on a 3-D plane. It's easy to pick up, and one wrong twitch isn't going to throw you into oblivion. (Unless your an idiot like me and somehow manage to get BEHIND the wall and think it's a good idea to press the x-button to let go. FOR SOME REASON).

But what I think what makes this game so fun, and makes it stand out from puzzle games. is that it feels like one of the few that actually wants you to win. The field is brightly lit, there isn't a lot of things that are just going to jump at you and kill you, there are check points mid-puzzle, and the premise is so simple that it's easy to pick yourself up and dive in again. Even the game's little interface details feel more like positive reinforcement than the game getting a boner every time you can't beat it. Your sheep buddies actually cheer when you manage to score some coins, the game-over screen isn't mocking or grim, just has Vincent chipperly declaring "now's not the time to be dead!" when you choose to restart, and even the frustrating-by-design ranking system at the end is surprisingly kind. No Bayonetta style, "oh, so you only died once and used one item? Then here's a bronze trophy of a CANDY-ASS LITTLE GIRL you dick". All the trophies are the exact same shape, and regardless of what score you get, the game non-sarcastically congratulates you for surviving.

And they give you Utena-style gong bells when you get close to the entrance. Like, CHURCH BELLS are ringing the closer you get to beating the stage. Freaking awesome.

Sadly, you don't have an infinite number of retries, making for some frustration in hearkening back to the long ago days of having "lives" you need to keep track of. But on a huge plus side, Atlus listened to the fandom's plea for an easy mode, and instead of offering it as a patch like they did for the JP version, Easy Mode is now included in an in-game difficulty setting. But take caution--I played the demo twice, and even though I moon-walked through the first puzzle no problem, the later ones get sticky no matter how many times you play them, even on easy mode. Even though she's worth your attention, if you'd rather have a fun time than sitting down and committing to the old girl, you'll have your chance.


The presentation of the game, as expected, is excellent. Atlus managed to sew the nightmare world and the real world surprisingly well, but not quite by the way I thought. The real unifying factor turned out not a transition between gritreal and surreal, but rather an interesting balance of both for each of the worlds. The scenery in the bar that Vincent hangs out, the cafe where you see Catherine, and the nightmare world are all beautifully rendered, but they all have something over-the-top and just a little strange. For instance, and there seems to be an aesthetic balance between a well-lit foreground and an almost shadowy background, without sacrificing any colors in either. It's an aesthetic choice I really liked in Bioshock, but since Bioshock was trying to be ALL OUT GRITREAL, it seems a lot more natural with the tone of the story here. More on that later.

In addition to the choice of lighting, there are a lot of small details that are exaggerated. Like the huge pillows in the cafe, the TV-screens that flash solid light and color instead of direct images (all of which seem a little reminiscent of P4), and the wide, sweeping angles the in-game animations like to take, even looking a little distorted, like they're being shot through a fish-eye. As I've said, it's noticeable, but not distracting, and combined with the previous, as well as the unique but appropriate choice of using pink as an omnipresent color motif, the whole game has a really, really nice aesthetic. I can't wait to see what they do with it as the game progresses.

Also, I'm happy to report that the localization is fantastic. Translation teams have really gotten good at, you know, actually translating Japanese to English instead of some sort of 19th Century Romanticism Fairy Language. I mean, in only about 45 minutes of gameplay, the main character drops two f-bombs while still managing to sound like an adult while still sounding like a fanboy loser, just by how the dialog's structured. That's good, man. And the English VA team takes the mannerisms need for the characters and runs with them. Vincent would be a completely unlikable ball of bland if it wasn't for Troy Baker's wonderful performance, reminding us all that, uh yeah actually, it is pretty intimidating when your girlfriend pops the question for the first time. The same dialogue and good voice acting save the rest of the cast from falling into similar spheres, while the obligatory three-drinking-buddy greek chorus of youth vs. commitment vs. having a good time all become legitimate characters instead of prop cliches to pat the audience's head and assure them they aren't stupid.

I mean hell, they even made the obligatory love interest a legitimate character, instead of just some hot but prudish nag. Her full name is Katherine McBride for cripes sake, and you can still like her for it. Michelle Ruff's vocal talent deserves no small thanks, but there's just something about the way she behaves that's already fascinating to me. She isn't some passive-aggressive waif. She's got the career, the ambitions, and the proactive attitude to actually see whether or not her boyfriend is going to be an unambitious fanboy loser for life. Also, there's this lovely exchange:

Vincent: Have you ever had a dream where you...died?
Katherine: Like, when you're in danger?
Vincent: No, no, where you actually die. You're being killed, or something.
Katherine: No. (smile) I usually do the killing in my dreams.


But what really makes the game to me is that it's fun. And I don't mean that it has enjoyable gameplay and a good story, I mean that the game's entire point is just to be seriously freaking fun. It's treating its audience with respect and like intelligent human beings, certainly, but there's also a general air of whackyness that really keeps everything together. It's everywhere from the makes-no-sense-but-it-looks-seriously-cool opening animation, to the really bouncy soundtrack, to Vincent's truly epic open-jawed face faults, to the almost darkly humorous options menu. Once you get over seeing a sheep man falling down and exploding on the game logo like a jelly-filled zit, it's actually kind of funny to see one after the other falling in the background of the title scream, bleating in horror all the way down. Despite the solemn subject matter and the inevitable nightmare fuel to come, the game goes out of its way to make sure you're smiling through every second of it. Thank goodness for trippy Japanese games. The world would be a bleaker place without them.

Catherine hits the stores on July 26th, and I still got no dough to take her out. But if you want her, dude, I will totally be your wingman.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Faux-Poor Poorbetch Gaming Special

And it's not always fun time and fancy free with Uncle Stype. No sir! I've been up to my gills with stuff I need to do, like cleaning my room and meaningfully contributing to society and crap. Twenty-one years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope. For a destination. So in an almost disappointingly mature financial decision, I've decided to not buy games until I can secure my income, and be mindful of my purchases afterwards, since my girlfriend's education and my occasional consumption of food is more important in the long run.

So as is many mature decisions embarked by the weak of brain, spirit, and upper-body, my self-restraint wears thinner every day. It's embarrassing to admit, despite my criticisms of consumerism and materialism, I never quite got out of the "easily manipulated five year old" slot of commercial targeting. Dangle any old trailer in front of my face, and nine times out of ten, I'm going to get excited about the game anyway. And with the dust of E3 settling and everyone prepping up for the third-and-fourth quarter glut of game releases, I've been driven to drooling over bits of polycarbonate like a street urchin smearing their nose fog all over the windows of the village jerky shop.

But I am an artist. And if there are two things that artists are good at doing, it's explaining theory before actually sitting down and making something, and channeling misery into art. And I am an artist who works for you, dear friends. So, in my sage and wisdom, let me pass to you the gems of my salivation. I have presented but a small handful of games that, for whatever reason (mostly likely procrastination), have piqued my interest. You get a little guidance through the treacherous land of jayarpeegees, and I get to hear myself talk. So to my wisdom!

Final Fantasy XIII-2
Release Date: Winter 2012

Final Fantasy is the series that's in vogue to trash talk these days, but in this betch's humble opinion, it's not entirely deserved. You have to admire a company that has the integrity/balls/fatalism to go and do something else entirely every single time, frequently flying in the face of genuine success in the process. Maybe it's fatalistic, maybe it's a bad business move in today's gaming economy, but I admire the old horse for it.

That aside, I concede it is becoming the Disney of games. FF has become so big that it's become a task just to keep it's inertia rolling, let alone creating unique games while appeasing it's gargantuan media circus. Development times that are starting to push half a decade a pop, giving their fans plenty of time to sharpen their sticks on how this is not like the game they loved, when the game they love is supposed to be not the game they love by design the next time the bus rolls into town.

But despite being the latest edition to the controversy conga line proceeding X, I actually liked XIII. I wouldn't name my kid after it, but the characters and their relationships were wonderful, the world were colorful and interesting, and despite its flaws (which are numerous) it was still a lot of fun. And so I'm honestly excited for its sequel just out of wanting to see it's fully realized potential. Maybe it's a sham that I have to pay an extra half a Franklin just to see all the loose ends of my story tied up, but I'll give square a chance. There are games that have cut me deeper. Not naming any names Fire Emblem Radiant Dawn.


But there are a few things that are already starting to piss me off though. Who the hell is this? No, seriously, who the hell is this ponsy little brat? Why did you go take Yuna, turn her into a dude, and somehow make her less butch? I mean I've got no beef against generic prettyboys, but I do have a beef with why the hell Lightning is not the protagonist. You promised she was going to be the protagonist twice Square. I really don't want to play the "girl" card in all of this, but are you scared of putting a lady in the big chair? This is the third game in a row where you've had a female secondary character with a stronger tie to the plot than the actual protagonist.

That, and the soundtrack seems off to me. It's prequel's orchestral music was really, really pretty, but it was unnecessarily grandiose, and wasn't memorable enough to really do it for me. But I think Square hit the u-turn too hard. We've got rapping. In a Final Fantasy game. Don't get me wrong, from what I've heard, the music sounds great. It's. Oh, honey. Just no.

So yes, the majority of my complaints are not having an awesome female protagonist and a sucky soundtrack. It feels a little too true to my character. I feel exposed, somehow.


Aw, but all that aside, I'm still excited. There's not a lot of details out there as to what the story's going to be like, but it's already pushing into mind screw territory. And I'm down with that. The battles seem to be fine-tuned to be a bit more interactive, there's a lot more freedom to the world maps, and we finally have the much complained for HD towns. All I've wanted was a tightened version of the original, and it looks like what it's going to be. I'm not sure what they're trying to do, but you've got me interested, Square. Don't let me down now.


Catherine
Release Date: July 26th, 2011

If there's one thing I've learned from popular culture, it's to not cheat on your girlfriend when weird-ass magic crap's going down. Take the case of Vincent Brooks, loser white boy classic, whose girlfriend of five years, Katherine, suddenly drops the arriage-may bomb. To celebrate, he freaks out, gets wasted, and meets Catherine, a girl who looks about fifteen, walks around in a bra and nighty, and proceeds to puts the moves on him (also, media has taught me to never pursue what is basically a younger, sexier version of your girlfriend who you're on the rocks with).

So one thing leads to another, and Vincent ends up sleeping with Catherine. And then he turns on the news the next day, and learns he's done all this while there's been a rash of unexplained and gruesome deaths of every loser white boy in the district. Right he starts having really intense and symbolic nightmares. D'oh!


Gotta say, I was hooked on this the second I got the details. The developers seem to be trying to pull something of a mashup of Heavy Rain, Silent Hill 2, and Ico. And stranger still is that from what I can see, it's totally working. The game sound intense, man. Gameplay and story look so buddy-buddy that you almost have a hard time calling it a game. But it does seem to be striving for a high level of immersion and, like Heavy Rain, making everything you do in the game count. And I can't see anything but an interesting result, especially from the Megaten team. And the actual gameplay doesn't sound like it's for sissies.

The switch between the gritreal world and the nightmare puzzle world looks smooth and aesthetically pleasing. I put part of it on the game tight gameplay/story ratio, part on the fact that this is the first 3-D game developed by Atlus that actually looks good. Shigenori Soejima's art style is tragically difficult to render, and as can be seen in the Persona series, the game can really suffer for it. But with Atlus's first stab at high definition finally manages to do it justice. Combine that with what's shaping up to be a great soundtrack, phenomenal localized voice acting (Laura Baily, Troy Baker, and Liam O'Brian? Sign me up for the next war), and the dev team's reputation of melding the creepy with the cool, it feels like we finally get to see what Atlus can do with the tools to fully realize it's vision.

And despite being the classic setup of the paragon of virtue girlfriend versus the exciting sexy temptress girlfriend, it looks like it's going to be handled with an actual sense of maturity (for once). I think this may be the only game I've seen that attacks the issues and morality behind sex, sexuality, and relationships head on, instead of being an "edgy" flavor to story structure, or to bring the audience in through titillation (well, not intentionally anyway. Well, not often). I have no doubt the team can handle it, despite the fact that is shaping up to be a very uncomfortable game. These are the same guys who made Persona 4, and made a rainbow-colored stripper with a satellite for a head a legitimate representation of repressed sexuality. They've earned our trust, bro.


So, interesting premise, good presentation, reputable team, great VA cast, shiny graphics, and a general intent of going out and doing something different. What more can you want, right? A lot of companies are being picky when choosing games to localize as of late, so to whoever at AtlusUSA made the call on this one, may I say that you are to be praised on hands and knees. Should everything go well, I think this is the first of the newbie games I'll pick up once I get a little more cash (maybe a good way to celebrate actually getting a job/apartment, n'est pas?). Besides, if I pre-order now, I can get my very own pair of big boy underwear!


ICO and Shadow of the Colossus Remastered
Release Date: September 27th, 2011

If you have to sell your own legs to get this game, and the pay doesn't include anesthesia and the only tools of removal available is your neighbor's border collie, you still will have made the best purchase of your life. You are obliged, as a sentient creature, to buy this game. I have no doubt that this game will, somehow, be involved with The Rapture. Admittedly, I haven't played ICO yet, but here's me crying over the fact that I have to play it in gorgeous high-definition back to back with probably the best game in the universe made by the same team as the aforementioned best game in the universe. THE BEST GAME IN THE UNIVERSE. There might be a better game out there, somewhere, but it's probably good in the same way James Joyce is considered a genius and Dan Savage is considered a legitimate advice columnist. And it's probably in French. And on the Dreamcast.

I can't think of a game more deserving of a remaster, and from the looks of it, the collection was given a lot of love in its redefinition. From what I've read on Jack Gaskill's blog, they broke their backs making sure that every single detail was polished to perfection, even adding a few much-needed visual effects to keep everything consistent on next-gen software. I tragically can't speak for ICO, but going by what screens I've seen, it's shaping up to be a sexy beast too. No small thanks goes to Team ICO's brilliance when it comes to detailed minimalist graphics in their original, but it's shaping up to be one of the best games you can get for this gen's console when it comes to breathtaking aesthetics.

For those of you who like bangs and whistles, the game will also have full 3-D support and trophies, on top of all else. 3-D is excellent bro, but I'm not sure what I think about the trophies. If you're playing this game for the achievements, there's something wrong with you. Period. And something about their inclusion almost feels a little gimmicky or insulting, like dumping ketchup on authentic Italian cuisine. Hell if that will stop me from getting every single one though.


I feel like I've told you nothing about the game proper, as I've wasted spit on nothing but describing remastering. But honestly, I have a hard time exactly describing either of these games. It's not because either of them are bad or weird, far from it. It's as if the thematic and story execution are a lot more primal, almost essential to the human condition. It makes it hard to measure it's exact literary merits, especially only in quantum terms of symbolism, common motifs, or literary mechanics . It's just. It's beautiful. They act as simple existences within themselves, and yet something about both seem grand, almost cosmic or spiritual about them. However you feel about my tastes, take my advice when I say that you're doing yourself a favor when you buy this game.

And now that we've gotten the definite drools out of the way, here's a small sampler of other games that will undoubtedly be good, but I place a more cautious sort of optimism on. Let's give them a look.

Dragon's Crown
Release Date: Spring 2012

Pros:
* It's Vanillaware
* It's Vanillaware's animation
* It's Vanillaware's animation in 1080 p

Cons:
* The Amazon's ass cheek is larger and with more contour definition than her face
* Story might be chilling out for this addition
* 2D animation + 3D navigation space = sad times

Skull Girls
Release Date: Late 2011

Pros:
* The world's shaping up to have a good balance of strange, self-referential, and sincere
* Vibrant and colorful art style
* Lots of girls kicking ass

Cons:
* High chance of Strong Female Characters
* Appears to be America's take on 90% of everything wrong with Anime
* A panty fighter? In 2011? U srs?
Final Fantasy Type-0
Release Date: TBA?

Pros
* Probably the most intense story the series has seen in a while
* Good variety of characters to play from
* PSP graphics look fantastic

Cons
* So much data to run that it may break your PSP
* Gainax ending all but inevitable
* Jayzus Squeenix, of all people, you can afford to export

Valkyria Chronicles 3: Unrecorded Chronicles
Released Date: TBA?

Pros
* Story and battle system have been fine-tuned from previous installments
* Character models no longer look like different heads sewn on the same body
* Latest entry to the rising star of JRPGs

Cons
* SCREW YOU SEGA
* SCREW YOU AND YOUR SUCKY MARKETING STRATEGIES

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

The State of the Nerdom: Lady Geeks

This blog isn't ever going to be too political. It's not because I feel no such desire to indulge in more political angles nor out of fear of controversy, as I like a good bitch fight as much as the next guy. But this is a point that I have to weigh in on, a point lacking distinctly in sexyness and fun-lovingness. It includes a lot of topics that my readership may find philosophically and psychologically intimidating, including "girls", "social responsibility", and Sephiroth manporn. However, we're here, we're geeky, and we're on an internet nerd blog, so I think we can all competently view ourselves as inquisitive and intellectually adventurous people. Or trolls. Whatevs.

That said, I know that the things I am proposing are a little heavy, so to ease any hurt feelings and high blood pressure, I have thoroughly saturated this blog post with adorable pictures of little kitties to sooth any wounded psyches.

Now to the topic at hand: the treatment and portrayal of female nerds.



Let's start first with a little sense of context. Yes yes, you got me. I am a feminist.

Put your guns down for a second guys. What I am not, and I stress again, am not is an overbearing female supremacist. Nor am I a frigid lesbian who hates any object that's longer than it is wide. Nor am I an ugly internet mofo seething with jealousy over buxom superheroines and anime girls with chronic inability to competently use braziers (in fact, I have it on supreme authority that I am drop dead sexy, but that's neither here nor there). Nor am I an extremely competent male troll (an easy mistake to make). Nor am I some sort of Jason Voorheez, drill carrying psychopath waiting for the right opportunity to jump out of the computer and put my wares straight into your nethers. I'm just a normal girl who wants people to treat each other kindly and nonjudgmentally regardless of which set of chromosome their particular fertilizing sperm had in the glove compartment.

Further more in the "you got me" department is, well, I am a nerd, and I have at least some semblance of sexual attraction to women. So it would be easy to point out a lot of points I present in hypocrisy, especially when I bring home the point of this post that I've been skating around somewhat before this point.

Female nerds are treated with casual disregard at kindness and an unfair double standard at worst, despite their behaviors, origins, and motivations being almost identical to their male counterparts.


I know that whether your reaction to this is "well no freaking duh, potato-face" or "this is one crappy-ass reason to put your School Days reviews on hold", this is a pretty blunt claim to make. But we really have to look this one in the face here, guys. I will be the first to agree, and understand, and to a certain degree respect, that a majority of geek culture, including cartoons, comic books, video games, and many old-school cartoons, are traditionally catered to the male demographic. And I will concede that this not a trait that should be immediately damned.

It goes without saying that even if the original demographics of these genres, or even most medias, were by males for males, they're rich in literary merit, speak to the universal human condition, and are enjoyable and enriching (the not awful ones anyway). Not to mention that if its original creators and intended audience did not exist, a lot of the elements of the culture we prize wouldn't exist as well, even the material that's reactionary to it. But keeping this in mind, it all leads up to a very strong and very uncomfortable question:

Just how many narrative and artistic mediums are targeted specifically to the female demographic, let alone exclusively?

The only real genre I can think of is romance, and even that is a genre that's treated with little respect and seriousness of artistic merit, unless its a subplot to a more sprawling storylline. Mystery too, sometimes, but even that's treated in the "lower" mediums. So what about other genres, or indeed, what about other media outlets in general? Pretty much every medium, be it books, television, movies, radio, mainstream internet blogs and webcomics, games, graphic novels, and the like tend to be written for a male demographic, or at least with the male demographic taking some semblance of precedence.

The good news in all this, if you're looking for it, is that the geek industry seems to be no better or worse than mainstream culture in general. The bad news is...the geek industry seems to be no better or worse than mainstream culture in general. One could infer that this is because a majority of writers and directors of any of these mediums tend to be men themselves, but that whole issue brings back the elephant-in-the-room societal feminism thing.

A lot of geeks counter that Anime and Manga and JRPG boom of the nineties and naughts brought the girl geeks into the mix, so they consider it the token "girly" expression of media. But let's be real here. Both in JRPGs and Animanga, the target demographic, or at least the most notable examples in the genre, still got their male on. If we were to ratio iconic JRPG male protagonists to iconic female protagonists, especially if we discount those who became iconic by virtue of their sex appeal, I think we both know who'd get the larger number in the ratio.

Same goes for Anime and Manga. The big names of the genre, such as Cowboy Bebop, Neon Genesis Evangelion, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, and others claim to be more gender neutral with their inclusion of a lot of girls, and a lot of kickass girls at that, but the main thematics of all series, most notably the male protagonist against the male antagonists, and the disproportionate attention given to the sex appeal of the female cast of all of the above, I think we can safely say that it's target audience is still very much dude.

In the few Animes that have managed to gain popularity despite it's female-targeted audience, such as Sailor Moon and Revolutionary Girl Utena, there still is a utilization of ample cheesecake from the female protagonists to, oddly, keep the periphery male demographic appeased, even when both have male representation in their works (alright Sailor Moon was kind of sketchy with its dudes, but so was Cowboy Bebop with its chicks, so thar ya go).

Which only raises more uncomfortable questions, such as why do we need to appease this particular demographic and not girls? Girls are still a minority in a lot of geeky things, but their demographic is numerous none the less. Most counts are at least 40% in most mediums. That's a lot. To put things in perspective, 40% accounts for the percentage of our planet's landmass. And especially in America, we need as many geeks as we can get, n'est pas? Moreover, why does this hyper-extend into other medias? Do we think that girls just don't watch TV, or movies, or read at all? What do we think girls do all day? Knit? Anyone?


I'm getting a little off topic here, so let's get back to the girl geeks themselves. I will NOT say that nerds are sexist, because for all my snarling, I don't believe that's true in the slightest bit. If anything, I've think Nerds tend to have racked themselves into a neo-Knight in Shining Armor mentality, which is a fault I will explain later. But I will go as far as to say that a lot of Nerds are generally uncomfortable around women.

The pedigree of the Nerd is the outcast, the beat around, the kid who had to create their own subculture of which they could be properly appreciated and interact with their fellow Nerds. They're already social awkward, abused, mistrusted, and misrepresented. And one of the big reasons the nerds broke off from the mainstream, or had a hard time synchronizing with it, is an acute awkwardness around women. It's a marked difference between the nerd and the jock.

Hence the problem of the introduction of the girl nerd. It can be intimidating to be in a demographic that is not your own, yes, but it can be just as disconcerting when things are the other way around. Those unfamiliar with the finner nuances and manners in the community they try to establish themselves in can be shocking at kindest, bafoonish at worst. No one likes the Leeroy Jenkins on your MMO team. We know this.

We have come a really long way. We're no longer in the era where girls will be sneered at and harassed just for using the internet. Yet there is still a definite discomfort when girls get into the geeky mix, especially if these girls are making any expressions of their own femininity or heterosexuality. Fact is, the same awkward-around-the-opposite-sex, not-conventionally-appealing reasons a lot of guys raise the geek flag to begin with is the exact same reason a lot of girl geeks do the same thing. And when you have two groups of people who are, I would argue, both high on hormones and massively sexual repressed, things are going to explode.

Take, for instance, the Draco in Leather Pants cliche. A TV Tropes term, it basically refers to a softness to the point of sympathetic fetishism toward a fictional character due to his or her sex appeal despite being a conventionally evil or dangerous person. As one can expect, this trope is usually seen in pretty negative regard, and as suggested by the title, is often a stereotype attached to female practitioners. To put things in lamens terms, if miss geek thinks Sephiroth is a sexy muffin cakes, makes fan comics of him, and keeps a ninety-five dollar statue of him on her dresser, she's often seen as a giggling, drooling fangirl and don't you get he wants nothing more than to slice you in half. If mister nerd thinks that Bayonetta is a damn fox, draws fanart of her to various degrees of titillation, and has a life sized body pillow her, conventional wisdom indicates the dude's just being smart.

Another manifestation is the treatment of Yaoi Fangirls. Note that even the producers of media frequently in question are above throwing a little girl-on-girl cuddling to get the viewership's attention, plausibility to actual characterization notwithstanding. But girl geeks who do the same with any popular male characters in fanwork, especially if said characters have a sizable male fanbase, are delusional, perverted, and sometimes downright sick, or at the very least going too far.

It tends to be assumed that expressions of sexuality in geeky media are acceptable, and strangely, fanservice catered to females seems to be more publicaly sympathized to that of males. Yet there's still a slight frowning upon, or at least confusion or questioning of, women who actively seize these opportunities for themselves, despite their male counterparts doing such long before the conventional regard of their resistance. Putting the debate of the necessity of fanservice to appease these expressions aside, female and male geeks that tend to view the other sides sexual expressions as degrading or irrational seems to contain more than a modicum of hypocrisy, as both sides are more or less engaging in the exact same behavior, with the only difference being that one has had more time to establish it as a norm within the circle.


Last, and most controversially, we look at the difference between the courtship expectancies of the male nerd versus that of the female nerd. The first is the concept of what the internet likes to call "Nice Guy Syndrome". The "well meaning and thus deserving nice guy" mantra is as old as dirt, and while most people realize that things tend to be a bit more complicated than that, it's still a mindset that easily pervades the geekdom.

The basic philosophy is thus: "Jocks and bros are total assholes, yet they get all the girls. Girls should not want total assholes. Thus, they should give me a chance, for I am distinctly not an asshole." On the surface, this makes perfect sense. I'm a woman, and I don't want to date an asshole, so I can certainly relate. But here's the thing--nice, while being a critical reason to enter a relationship, is a reason. Sadly, just like you want a girl who's more than "nice" and "hot", we want a guy who's more than...well, just nice.

Getting out Interpersonal Relationships 101, yes, it's important to be a good person and to have good intentions with a person, and most people grasp that concept pretty easily, especially nerds like us, who have been pushed around as much as anyone. And bro, I am not knocking dating nerds. I am a girl dating a nerd, and I can vouch for them being highly underrated romantic partners. That being said, being nice alone does not entitlement make. Having anyone, male or female, date anyone else because they aren't beaten and abused isn't nice-that is what we call Stockholm Syndrome. And if you're taking a women's study class and cursing it for giving you the edge to pick up chicks to appreciate your sensitivity, well, you're a different breed entirely my friend.

That being said, the "Give Geeks a Chance" mentality is still alive and well in the community. And it appears everywhere. Revenge of the Nerds really kicked this trend off, to be followed by various others, including Back to the Future, Spider Man, Seinfeld, Kim Possible, pretty much every Woody Allen movie, so on and so forth.

And that's all well and good, because hey, geeks deserve a chance. Though this process is oddly reversed when it comes to a female geek. If a female geek wants to get the hot guy, then by the powers that be woman, brush your frizzball head, ditch the glasses, and get yourself a form-fitting tube top. We can see this in Grease, The Breakfast Club, Carrie (it didn't end too spectacularly, but...), The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya (Yuki may be the most unnecessary glasses-pull character in all of media), about 83% of chick flicks (ironically), so on and so forth.

So to wrap this all up, geeks deserve a chance. Understandable. Male geeks deserve a chance. Understandable. But here's yet another million dollar question-if we're coded to think that male geeks deserved to have their feelings considered beyond their outward appearances by really hot women, why don't girls get the same thing? If we're trying to push the idea that geeks deserve to be accepted despite outward appearances, then giving the implicit task of half of the geek population to change themselves to fit a conventional standard of presentation, then what exactly does that say about the group itself, let alone the overarching societal implications?

To quote Oscar Wilde, "The only thing easier than solving all of societies ills is to bitch about them on a generic internet blog". We know the why, but what about the elusive how? Well, like I said, at heart, this is a deeply entrenched social issue, and the jury's still out on how good or bad the problem is, even among the feminists.

And frankly, the how isn't altogether pleasant. Even on a personal level, it's going to be a lot of hard work. It's going to take girls admitting that men aren't all that different from us in regards to having kinks for fictional characters, and revoking our rights to play the "men are pigs" card whenever we spot an inch of cleavage. It's going to take guys losing their rights to roll their eyes every time "feminism" appears on the internet, and willing to concede some points that the girls bring up are reasonable. Its going to take both sides being fair-minded and sympathetic to the plights of the other, and, when it's our turn to take up the writing and creating of the media that we ourselves adored, we're going to need to find ways to broaden demographics and tweak tropes and concepts that are throughly embedded in said mediums, even though it's going to take more than a little more creativity and will probably be the victim to more than a little backlash by loyalists.

But I think, if we can really look this problem in the face, and if we can address it realistically, we can do good for geekdom as a whole. We can broaden demographics, bring more people into a culture we love, both men and women, and our own culture can be enriched by the new and the innovative. What's more, we can sooth a lot of hurt feelings within our community, on both sides, and we can finally bridge a few gaps that we've been struggling to overcome long before this became an issue. And what's more, we, as a group, can do the right thing. We've all been mistreated and misrepresented for reasons we do not deserve. This is a huge chance to put our best foot forward, to show everyone, not just ourselves, that we can be progressive, tolerant, and morally responsible individuals.

We can really show the world our stuff if we do this right guys. I know I've got a long way to go, and I certainly slip up now and again, but I'm doing my best for that cause. And if anyone reads this and tries a little harder to do so because of it, then frankly, I'd be very honored. And if not, well, come back next time for some tits and ass. That's guarenteed.

This has been your loyal host, S-type. Good night, and good luck!

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All images of cute kitties are courtesy of photobucket and belong to their respected owners.