Faux Poor Poorbetch Special: Catherine Demo

So almost immediately after I spend lauding it, Atlus USA (the tease) goes and releases the demo for Catherine on the PSN. I'd glee at any opportunity to get more information on it, of course, but it's also gives me a great opportunity to explain a game that probably deserves a little more context and background than a three-or-four paragraph summary. When I first introduced this game on the blog, it never occurred to me that there may be some of you out there who see men seduced by women with hair shaped like a couple of chandeliers grafted to their heads, gets steer horns and runs around in big boy undies and a pillow, and climbs blocks that unapologeticly eviscerate the laws of physics while running away from a fifty-foot zombie chick with an afro, and respond with a gentle "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS PORNO DRUGGIE BULLCRAP".

So for you people that have only relied on my gut instincts and some really strange trailers, fear not! I now have more solid material to give you a better overview/introduction to the proud first entry of the up-and-coming "erotic horror puzzle platformer" genre. Maybe it's because I've had little other experience in the EHPP niche, but this game is definitely not like anything I've played before (in a good way), and is already on its way to exceeding it's already high bar. Don't believe me? Let's take a closer look.

For those of you who missed the previous FPPS, here's the post-it note summary of Catherine: everloser geekboy senior with a pink shirt cheats on his girlfriend, a seasonal gypsy curse rolls through town, and freaky stuff happens. Sounds like a typical day at the movies right? Ah ha ha, WRONG, because our hero starts dreaming that he needs to climb a huge tower made of magic storage bins that he has to shove around to make a stairway, climbing to safety before the blocks below him give out and he falls to his doom. Typical overly symbolic puzzle game right? Oh ho ho, WRONG, because this was made in Japan, so there's something weird that's chasing him all the way up, one of them being a psychotic representation of his pissed off girlfriend wielding a white 'fro and a huge fork she uses to pop him like a balloon with little pink rubbery bits in the middle.

Yeah. It's a huge post-it note.

What originally got me hooked on the game was the reputable team behind (Atlus's Persona 4 team, FYI), the theme monogamy versus non-commitment, oft not explored in games, and the game's unspoken promise of not being quite like anything you've played before. And it meets those expectations really well (for the hour or so I've played anyway). But other things I was banking on, like a distinctly edgy presentation and a battle system meant to break the Atlus fanboy brain rather than delight and amuse, were actually revered entirely. Unsurprisingly, it's for the absolute better.

The biggest thing that surprised me is the gamemplay is a blast. It basically works like this: you're given a huge wall of blocks stacked in a peculiar way, and it's your job to move the blocks to create a stairway to climb up to the top. Sounds simple and kind of tedious, right? But for reasons I'm having a hard time putting my thumb on, it's seriously and surprisingly enjoyable. First off, the controls are extremely simple, and tightened to a needlepoint. 3-D and platforming have always been on uneasy terms, but this is definitely one of the better designs. The controls are done on the d-pad as opposed to the joystick, so it makes for much more accurate, almost 2-D movements on a 3-D plane. It's easy to pick up, and one wrong twitch isn't going to throw you into oblivion. (Unless your an idiot like me and somehow manage to get BEHIND the wall and think it's a good idea to press the x-button to let go. FOR SOME REASON).

But what I think what makes this game so fun, and makes it stand out from puzzle games. is that it feels like one of the few that actually wants you to win. The field is brightly lit, there isn't a lot of things that are just going to jump at you and kill you, there are check points mid-puzzle, and the premise is so simple that it's easy to pick yourself up and dive in again. Even the game's little interface details feel more like positive reinforcement than the game getting a boner every time you can't beat it. Your sheep buddies actually cheer when you manage to score some coins, the game-over screen isn't mocking or grim, just has Vincent chipperly declaring "now's not the time to be dead!" when you choose to restart, and even the frustrating-by-design ranking system at the end is surprisingly kind. No Bayonetta style, "oh, so you only died once and used one item? Then here's a bronze trophy of a CANDY-ASS LITTLE GIRL you dick". All the trophies are the exact same shape, and regardless of what score you get, the game non-sarcastically congratulates you for surviving.

And they give you Utena-style gong bells when you get close to the entrance. Like, CHURCH BELLS are ringing the closer you get to beating the stage. Freaking awesome.

Sadly, you don't have an infinite number of retries, making for some frustration in hearkening back to the long ago days of having "lives" you need to keep track of. But on a huge plus side, Atlus listened to the fandom's plea for an easy mode, and instead of offering it as a patch like they did for the JP version, Easy Mode is now included in an in-game difficulty setting. But take caution--I played the demo twice, and even though I moon-walked through the first puzzle no problem, the later ones get sticky no matter how many times you play them, even on easy mode. Even though she's worth your attention, if you'd rather have a fun time than sitting down and committing to the old girl, you'll have your chance.

The presentation of the game, as expected, is excellent. Atlus managed to sew the nightmare world and the real world surprisingly well, but not quite by the way I thought. The real unifying factor turned out not a transition between gritreal and surreal, but rather an interesting balance of both for each of the worlds. The scenery in the bar that Vincent hangs out, the cafe where you see Catherine, and the nightmare world are all beautifully rendered, but they all have something over-the-top and just a little strange. For instance, and there seems to be an aesthetic balance between a well-lit foreground and an almost shadowy background, without sacrificing any colors in either. It's an aesthetic choice I really liked in Bioshock, but since Bioshock was trying to be ALL OUT GRITREAL, it seems a lot more natural with the tone of the story here. More on that later.

In addition to the choice of lighting, there are a lot of small details that are exaggerated. Like the huge pillows in the cafe, the TV-screens that flash solid light and color instead of direct images (all of which seem a little reminiscent of P4), and the wide, sweeping angles the in-game animations like to take, even looking a little distorted, like they're being shot through a fish-eye. As I've said, it's noticeable, but not distracting, and combined with the previous, as well as the unique but appropriate choice of using pink as an omnipresent color motif, the whole game has a really, really nice aesthetic. I can't wait to see what they do with it as the game progresses.

Also, I'm happy to report that the localization is fantastic. Translation teams have really gotten good at, you know, actually translating Japanese to English instead of some sort of 19th Century Romanticism Fairy Language. I mean, in only about 45 minutes of gameplay, the main character drops two f-bombs while still managing to sound like an adult while still sounding like a fanboy loser, just by how the dialog's structured. That's good, man. And the English VA team takes the mannerisms need for the characters and runs with them. Vincent would be a completely unlikable ball of bland if it wasn't for Troy Baker's wonderful performance, reminding us all that, uh yeah actually, it is pretty intimidating when your girlfriend pops the question for the first time. The same dialogue and good voice acting save the rest of the cast from falling into similar spheres, while the obligatory three-drinking-buddy greek chorus of youth vs. commitment vs. having a good time all become legitimate characters instead of prop cliches to pat the audience's head and assure them they aren't stupid.

I mean hell, they even made the obligatory love interest a legitimate character, instead of just some hot but prudish nag. Her full name is Katherine McBride for cripes sake, and you can still like her for it. Michelle Ruff's vocal talent deserves no small thanks, but there's just something about the way she behaves that's already fascinating to me. She isn't some passive-aggressive waif. She's got the career, the ambitions, and the proactive attitude to actually see whether or not her boyfriend is going to be an unambitious fanboy loser for life. Also, there's this lovely exchange:

Vincent: Have you ever had a dream where you...died?

Katherine: Like, when you're in danger?

Vincent: No, no, where you actually die. You're being killed, or something.

Katherine: No. (smile) I usually do the killing in my dreams.

But what really makes the game to me is that it's fun. And I don't mean that it has enjoyable gameplay and a good story, I mean that the game's entire point is just to be seriously freaking fun. It's treating its audience with respect and like intelligent human beings, certainly, but there's also a general air of whackyness that really keeps everything together. It's everywhere from the makes-no-sense-but-it-looks-seriously-cool opening animation, to the really bouncy soundtrack, to Vincent's truly epic open-jawed face faults, to the almost darkly humorous options menu. Once you get over seeing a sheep man falling down and exploding on the game logo like a jelly-filled zit, it's actually kind of funny to see one after the other falling in the background of the title scream, bleating in horror all the way down. Despite the solemn subject matter and the inevitable nightmare fuel to come, the game goes out of its way to make sure you're smiling through every second of it. Thank goodness for trippy Japanese games. The world would be a bleaker place without them.

Catherine hits the stores on July 26th, and I still got no dough to take her out. But if you want her, dude, I will totally be your wingman.

Faux-Poor Poorbetch Gaming Special

And it's not always fun time and fancy free with Uncle Stype. No sir! I've been up to my gills with stuff I need to do, like cleaning my room and meaningfully contributing to society and crap. Twenty-one years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope. For a destination. So in an almost disappointingly mature financial decision, I've decided to not buy games until I can secure my income, and be mindful of my purchases afterwards, since my girlfriend's education and my occasional consumption of food is more important in the long run.

So as is many mature decisions embarked by the weak of brain, spirit, and upper-body, my self-restraint wears thinner every day. It's embarrassing to admit, despite my criticisms of consumerism and materialism, I never quite got out of the "easily manipulated five year old" slot of commercial targeting. Dangle any old trailer in front of my face, and nine times out of ten, I'm going to get excited about the game anyway. And with the dust of E3 settling and everyone prepping up for the third-and-fourth quarter glut of game releases, I've been driven to drooling over bits of polycarbonate like a street urchin smearing their nose fog all over the windows of the village jerky shop.

But I am an artist. And if there are two things that artists are good at doing, it's explaining theory before actually sitting down and making something, and channeling misery into art. And I am an artist who works for you, dear friends. So, in my sage and wisdom, let me pass to you the gems of my salivation. I have presented but a small handful of games that, for whatever reason (mostly likely procrastination), have piqued my interest. You get a little guidance through the treacherous land of jayarpeegees, and I get to hear myself talk. So to my wisdom!

Final Fantasy XIII-2

Release Date: Winter 2012

Final Fantasy is the series that's in vogue to trash talk these days, but in this betch's humble opinion, it's not entirely deserved. You have to admire a company that has the integrity/balls/fatalism to go and do something else entirely every single time, frequently flying in the face of genuine success in the process. Maybe it's fatalistic, maybe it's a bad business move in today's gaming economy, but I admire the old horse for it.

That aside, I concede it is becoming the Disney of games. FF has become so big that it's become a task just to keep it's inertia rolling, let alone creating unique games while appeasing it's gargantuan media circus. Development times that are starting to push half a decade a pop, giving their fans plenty of time to sharpen their sticks on how this is not like the game they loved, when the game they love is supposed to be not the game they love by design the next time the bus rolls into town.

But despite being the latest edition to the controversy conga line proceeding X, I actually liked XIII. I wouldn't name my kid after it, but the characters and their relationships were wonderful, the world were colorful and interesting, and despite its flaws (which are numerous) it was still a lot of fun. And so I'm honestly excited for its sequel just out of wanting to see it's fully realized potential. Maybe it's a sham that I have to pay an extra half a Franklin just to see all the loose ends of my story tied up, but I'll give square a chance. There are games that have cut me deeper. Not naming any names Fire Emblem Radiant Dawn.

But there are a few things that are already starting to piss me off though. Who the hell is this? No, seriously, who the hell is this ponsy little brat? Why did you go take Yuna, turn her into a dude, and somehow make her less butch? I mean I've got no beef against generic prettyboys, but I do have a beef with why the hell Lightning is not the protagonist. You promised she was going to be the protagonist twice Square. I really don't want to play the "girl" card in all of this, but are you scared of putting a lady in the big chair? This is the third game in a row where you've had a female secondary character with a stronger tie to the plot than the actual protagonist.

That, and the soundtrack seems off to me. It's prequel's orchestral music was really, really pretty, but it was unnecessarily grandiose, and wasn't memorable enough to really do it for me. But I think Square hit the u-turn too hard. We've got rapping. In a Final Fantasy game. Don't get me wrong, from what I've heard, the music sounds great. It's. Oh, honey. Just no.

So yes, the majority of my complaints are not having an awesome female protagonist and a sucky soundtrack. It feels a little too true to my character. I feel exposed, somehow.

Aw, but all that aside, I'm still excited. There's not a lot of details out there as to what the story's going to be like, but it's already pushing into mind screw territory. And I'm down with that. The battles seem to be fine-tuned to be a bit more interactive, there's a lot more freedom to the world maps, and we finally have the much complained for HD towns. All I've wanted was a tightened version of the original, and it looks like what it's going to be. I'm not sure what they're trying to do, but you've got me interested, Square. Don't let me down now.

Catherine
Release Date: July 26th, 2011

If there's one thing I've learned from popular culture, it's to not cheat on your girlfriend when weird-ass magic crap's going down. Take the case of Vincent Brooks, loser white boy classic, whose girlfriend of five years, Katherine, suddenly drops the arriage-may bomb. To celebrate, he freaks out, gets wasted, and meets Catherine, a girl who looks about fifteen, walks around in a bra and nighty, and proceeds to puts the moves on him (also, media has taught me to never pursue what is basically a younger, sexier version of your girlfriend who you're on the rocks with).

So one thing leads to another, and Vincent ends up sleeping with Catherine. And then he turns on the news the next day, and learns he's done all this while there's been a rash of unexplained and gruesome deaths of every loser white boy in the district. Right he starts having really intense and symbolic nightmares. D'oh!

Gotta say, I was hooked on this the second I got the details. The developers seem to be trying to pull something of a mashup of Heavy Rain, Silent Hill 2, and Ico. And stranger still is that from what I can see, it's totally working. The game sound intense, man. Gameplay and story look so buddy-buddy that you almost have a hard time calling it a game. But it does seem to be striving for a high level of immersion and, like Heavy Rain, making everything you do in the game count. And I can't see anything but an interesting result, especially from the Megaten team. And the actual gameplay doesn't sound like it's for sissies.

The switch between the gritreal world and the nightmare puzzle world looks smooth and aesthetically pleasing. I put part of it on the game tight gameplay/story ratio, part on the fact that this is the first 3-D game developed by Atlus that actually looks good. Shigenori Soejima's art style is tragically difficult to render, and as can be seen in the Persona series, the game can really suffer for it. But with Atlus's first stab at high definition finally manages to do it justice. Combine that with what's shaping up to be a great soundtrack, phenomenal localized voice acting (Laura Baily, Troy Baker, and Liam O'Brian? Sign me up for the next war), and the dev team's reputation of melding the creepy with the cool, it feels like we finally get to see what Atlus can do with the tools to fully realize it's vision.

And despite being the classic setup of the paragon of virtue girlfriend versus the exciting sexy temptress girlfriend, it looks like it's going to be handled with an actual sense of maturity (for once). I think this may be the only game I've seen that attacks the issues and morality behind sex, sexuality, and relationships head on, instead of being an "edgy" flavor to story structure, or to bring the audience in through titillation (well, not intentionally anyway. Well, not often). I have no doubt the team can handle it, despite the fact that is shaping up to be a very uncomfortable game. These are the same guys who made Persona 4, and made a rainbow-colored stripper with a satellite for a head a legitimate representation of repressed sexuality. They've earned our trust, bro.

So, interesting premise, good presentation, reputable team, great VA cast, shiny graphics, and a general intent of going out and doing something different. What more can you want, right? A lot of companies are being picky when choosing games to localize as of late, so to whoever at AtlusUSA made the call on this one, may I say that you are to be praised on hands and knees. Should everything go well, I think this is the first of the newbie games I'll pick up once I get a little more cash (maybe a good way to celebrate actually getting a job/apartment, n'est pas?). Besides, if I pre-order now, I can get my very own pair of big boy underwear!

ICO and Shadow of the Colossus Remastered

Release Date: September 27th, 2011

If you have to sell your own legs to get this game, and the pay doesn't include anesthesia and the only tools of removal available is your neighbor's border collie, you still will have made the best purchase of your life. You are obliged, as a sentient creature, to buy this game. I have no doubt that this game will, somehow, be involved with The Rapture. Admittedly, I haven't played ICO yet, but here's me crying over the fact that I have to play it in gorgeous high-definition back to back with probably the best game in the universe made by the same team as the aforementioned best game in the universe. THE BEST GAME IN THE UNIVERSE. There might be a better game out there, somewhere, but it's probably good in the same way James Joyce is considered a genius and Dan Savage is considered a legitimate advice columnist. And it's probably in French. And on the Dreamcast.

I can't think of a game more deserving of a remaster, and from the looks of it, the collection was given a lot of love in its redefinition. From what I've read on Jack Gaskill's blog, they broke their backs making sure that every single detail was polished to perfection, even adding a few much-needed visual effects to keep everything consistent on next-gen software. I tragically can't speak for ICO, but going by what screens I've seen, it's shaping up to be a sexy beast too. No small thanks goes to Team ICO's brilliance when it comes to detailed minimalist graphics in their original, but it's shaping up to be one of the best games you can get for this gen's console when it comes to breathtaking aesthetics.

For those of you who like bangs and whistles, the game will also have full 3-D support and trophies, on top of all else. 3-D is excellent bro, but I'm not sure what I think about the trophies. If you're playing this game for the achievements, there's something wrong with you. Period. And something about their inclusion almost feels a little gimmicky or insulting, like dumping ketchup on authentic Italian cuisine. Hell if that will stop me from getting every single one though.

I feel like I've told you nothing about the game proper, as I've wasted spit on nothing but describing remastering. But honestly, I have a hard time exactly describing either of these games. It's not because either of them are bad or weird, far from it. It's as if the thematic and story execution are a lot more primal, almost essential to the human condition. It makes it hard to measure it's exact literary merits, especially only in quantum terms of symbolism, common motifs, or literary mechanics . It's just. It's beautiful. They act as simple existences within themselves, and yet something about both seem grand, almost cosmic or spiritual about them. However you feel about my tastes, take my advice when I say that you're doing yourself a favor when you buy this game.

And now that we've gotten the definite drools out of the way, here's a small sampler of other games that will undoubtedly be good, but I place a more cautious sort of optimism on. Let's give them a look.

Dragon's Crown
Release Date: Spring 2012

Pros:

* It's Vanillaware
* It's Vanillaware's animation
* It's Vanillaware's animation in 1080 p

Cons:

* The Amazon's ass cheek is larger and with more contour definition than her face

* Story might be chilling out for this addition

* 2D animation + 3D navigation space = sad times

Skull Girls

Release Date: Late 2011

Pros:

* The world's shaping up to have a good balance of strange, self-referential, and sincere

* Vibrant and colorful art style

* Lots of girls kicking ass

Cons:

* High chance of Strong Female Characters

* Appears to be America's take on 90% of everything wrong with Anime

* A panty fighter? In 2011? U srs?

Final Fantasy Type-0

Release Date: TBA?

Pros

* Probably the most intense story the series has seen in a while

* Good variety of characters to play from

* PSP graphics look fantastic

Cons

* So much data to run that it may break your PSP

* Gainax ending all but inevitable

* Jayzus Squeenix, of all people, you can afford to export

Valkyria Chronicles 3: Unrecorded Chronicles

Released Date: TBA?

Pros

* Story and battle system have been fine-tuned from previous installments

* Character models no longer look like different heads sewn on the same body

* Latest entry to the rising star of JRPGs

Cons

* SCREW YOU SEGA

* SCREW YOU AND YOUR SUCKY MARKETING STRATEGIES

First Twenty-ish Hours Playing Command Board. I mean Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep

God, I freaking love the Command Board. It may just be my favorite mini-game in videogame history. Like, imagine Kingdom Hearts happened to meet Monopoly on the street, and offered Monopoly what it's been smoking since the early 2000's. Monopoly agrees, they chat for fifteen minutes and really hit it off, and before you know it, the Command Board is born.

Mmm. I love Monopoly. I love that feeling of getting Park Place and Boardwalk again, and use it as a cornerstone to snipe all that try to pass Go to bolster my already overindulgent pool of resources and throw the less fortunate to financial ruin. Ah yes. It's the feeling, rolled together with my secret love of numbers manipulation and leveling up your attacks in not-cheating-but-still-sneakily-underhanded ways to power up your stats. Nothing like doing level one missions with godlike attack sets. And this is rolled up in a package that has neither the six and a half hours of a good Monopoly game nor the frustrated restarting of stat manipulation. It's perfect. I love you Command Board. I really do.

Oh. Yeah. Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep.

My review: Twenty or so hours in and this game is so mind-blowingly amazing I'm surprised my PSP didn't explode when I put the cartridge in.

There. Now can I play more Command Board now?

...

Arch. Fine.

Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep for the PSP came out about a week ago, and long story short, I've been geekgasming over it ever since. I was honestly a little worried after 358/2 Days, which was by no means a bad game, but was more to satisfy canon whores and Organization 13 fanatics than a full entry of one of my favorite game series. So my expectations were mixed when I picked it (and the preorder stickers) up from Gamestop. I also had a mild panic attack when the opening cutscene of the game created the all-to-KH feeling of 'holy mother what in the heaven is going on here' (and this is coming form a champion mind screw fanatic, mind you). But before I could even think that all hope seemed lost, the game arrived, giving me a friendly pat on the shoulder. "I'm sorry for that brief emotional breakdown, Miss Type," it said. "Now allow me to present you with everything you with everything you adore about this series. Except more of it."

In fact, that's the impression that stands out with me the most about this game: a lot more than I thought. One of the selling points Kingdom Hearts is that it's a big, big, universe-spanning game. And after having a lot of noticeable limits on the handheld systems (looking at you Chain of Memories card system), I was surprised to find that I was playing a game that was large enough and strong enough to stand on the turf of it's big-boy console predecessors. Everything I've seen so far from BBS, from it's gameplay, to it's story, to the worlds themselves, to the MIGHTY COMMAND BOARD is large and rich. It feels not like your usual hand-held trinket, but a full chapter of the increasingly sprawling KH storyline. It's about time.

I'm impressed with how creative the dev team played with the cards they were dealt on the PSP. They went beyond just using the cartridge space to make a competent game, but they went so far as to streamline and fine-tune the game rather than cut out what the fans will miss the least. Granted, this is about twenty hours into the game, which would be probably only about 10 hours of the proper gameplay campaign total, so my views are still pretty much impressions so far. That being said, here's what I've gathered, and the reasons I haven't been on a regular eating schedule this week.

First of all comes the gameplay. I'd like to weigh in on a format that Square has been turning to lately that I approve of-scrapping MP. Magic Points were always something that bugged me when I was first getting into RPGs: the brawlers can hack and slash to their hearts' content without getting exhausted, but when the mages ran out of magic points, they're forced to do nil damage by smacking people with their magic wands? Lame. In Birth By Sleep, all spells, as well as special attack moves, are now "commands" that you can customize to an eight-slot deck (when it's maxed out, of course), and can be accessed at any time by pushing the triangle button. These commands will recharge after you use them, and until then, you can just bash away with the x-button. It's a surprisingly simple system, but very effective, and leaves a lot of room for fooling around and figuring out works best.

Additionally, new commands can be unlocked by mixing commands together, and in leau of not having a item synthesis system like the previous games, you can use gems to meld special skills to these commands to give your characters bonus effects, like stat enhancement, reduction of reload times, and bonus enemy drops. Even better, each command has a level, and once you max it out, you can keep the skill, even if you scrap the command for better ones. It's a system that integrates both character development and attack strategy, and a clever and fun one at that. And while it's confusing reading off paper, it's quick to master, and you'll soon be combo prepping like a pro (by the way, Terra with Blind-->Stopga-->Zero Gravity=PILE OF CORPSES). In fact, it wasn't until I started writing this review that I realized that item synthesis, summons, and even equipment outside of keyblades are nowhere to be seen. The system feels so well tailored that all of the previous seem like clunky remnants from an old-school era of gaming.

And yes sports fans, the fighting is still hilariously over the top. I admit, it's not quite as fantastic as the cinematic mastery of II, but that's like comparing fresh pie with ice cream on top to fresh pie with ice cream on top served by dinosaur Chuck Norris. On top of the commands, there's a standardized eye-candy bonus finish for every basic x-button combo, which can be leveled up and customized as time goes on, so you can take satisfaction in wasting your foes even when you're button mashing. Additionally, there's a bonus bar that fills up at the top of the screen, and based on the moves you preform, puts your character into a super-mode, giving them even more bonus damage into basic attacks and commands (while glowing, natch), with a super-special thematic finishing move that pretty much wipes the entire board.

And this is a standard battle mechanic. You don't need to run around beating a billion foes for drops to access it, like you did with the drive mode from II, and thus even grunt battles suddenly become nothing short of badassery for the sake of badassery overkill. Which as you know, is the best kind of kill. In a way, it almost makes the battles more interesting, because the excitement is pretty evenly spread across the board, instead of being confined only to boss battles like in the previous games.

Another thing I have to say to the dev team-thank you for not making the magic itself suck. As you can probably tell by the screens, there are actually three playable characters this time around. Terra (the angsty looking brunette with a man skirt and a shirt that's painted on), Ventus, AKA Ven (the jailbait), and Aqua (Princess Shoulder Blades). The story is more or less a three-way-split perspective between them (more on that later), and each has a very distinct battle strategy. While they all have access to base spells, each character specializes (i.e. can command synthesize) in only a few exclusive types of megaspells. Each character's spells match their moves, making for three very distinct battle styles. Terra is a typical brawler with everything but speed, so he's fit with darkness and earth spells. Ven is a character with fair attack and abysmal defense and HP, but with insane speed. So he's given light-but-powerful spells, like holy attacks and wind magic. And Aqua is pretty much midway with most stats and sub-par defense, and is pretty much your magical warrior.

A magic-based combatant honestly had me worried. Kingdom Hearts games of yore are very guilty of magic system abuse. You had three or for slots for easy access in the first two games, and one is already taken up by your healing magic. And if you wanted a more advanced spell, you had to access and scroll down a menu right in the middle of combat. In addition the damage was hardly worth the huge bites it took out of your annoying-to-refill MP bar. But thankfully, there's no more of this tomfoolery; if you've been doing your math, with the command system, you know have quick access to eight different kinds of spells that automatically reload after they're cast without wasting thirty seconds waiting for the MP bar to recharge or gathering enemy drops. So this translates to Aqua setting her foes on fire, followed by her max magnet spell, max thunder area spell, max bind spell to hold them together, and pummeling them with a standard attack, and then five seconds later getting to do it all over again.

Even better, one of the bonus character development included with command synthesis is "attack haste" and "magic haste", which makes the reload time near instantaneous. So once I got her rolling, what I thought was going to be the most frustrating character turned into a surprisingly unique and interesting fighting style, especially after years of KH beat 'em up button mashing. And for magic haters, imagine all of this, but with Terra's special mega attacks like Strike Raid and Sliding Dash, or Ven's hard and fast moves like Quick Blitz and Stun Strike. Between distinct character commands, the different base fighting styles, and the character development, there's a good balance of a sense of customization and uniqueness of each character you play.

And then there's the story. I have to admit, I'm still just getting into the meat of BBS's storyline. Though from what I can tell, the three-person system is an exceptionally clever way to approach the events of the game. As most of you know, the canon of Kingdom Hearts has been a little...ah, confusing as of late...

Okay, dude, so like, there's this kid. And he lives on an island with his friend and his girlfriend, but they're like, dude, this island sucks, we should go somewhere else. So they build a boat, and then like, these monsters attack, right? So this kid is like thrown into Disneyland, and he meets Leon and Aerith, who are like, dude, you gotta save the world from these monster things. And the kid's like what? And they're like, cuz you have this giant key that you can use as a sword, right? So then this kid goes to different Disney movies and kills all the monsters. They're called Heartless, and like, they eat people's hearts or something, because they represent the darkness or something like that. And when it eats your heart, you become a Heartless too. And there's this guy named Xemnas, who wants to turn everyone into a heartless, because then he can find this giant moon in the shape of a heart called Kingdom Hearts, because it'll fill the world with darkness or something.

But after they kill him, it turns out, um, no, the Heartless aren't things that don't have hearts, they actually are the hearts that got eaten, and the bodies that have no heart that get left behind are called Nobodies. And like, they can be monsters, but they can also be human and crap. And Xemnas wasn't Xemnas, he was actually a guy who wasn't Xemnas' Heartless. And his nobody is called Xeonhart. And like, he has twelve other nobodies that look like people, and they want the heartless to be destroyed so that they can go to Kingdom Hearts and get their hearts back, I guess. And they like, don't have emotions, but they can remember how to act, or something. And the kid's best friend also turns into Xemnas, except not, and then his girlfriend gets a keyblade, and they go and fight Pete and Sephiroth and stuff. And like, the kid and his girlfriend have nobodies too. But because she's a princess and he's the hero, they're good, while the others are bad. I think. And so they come together, and the kid is actually a Heartless.

Oh yeah, and the kid gets cloned like twice. And one time it was a girl. And his friend got cloned too. And his friend also wears a hula skirt. And Donal Duck casts magic.

And just by what little I've been non-spoilered so far, it looks like this installment is going to be no different in that regard. So no way are we going to be able to handle this installment without our brains exploding, right? Especially since it seems like it was designed to help us make sense of the chaotic mess which is the Kingdom Hearts canon.

As I mentioned, the story of BBS is basically the same story throughout, but it's told through the different viewpoints of the characters. It seems like a lame padding tactic when said out loud, but from what I've seen of the story so far, we need it. If you haven't guessed, I've decided to play a little bit of each character's story at the same time instead of finishing one before the next one, and I'm actually quite impressed how each character's role in the storyline is handled.

Terra's story (poor man) centers around discerning the KH cosmology, as he runs most frequently into such questions as what is light and darkness? What direct effect does one have on the other? If we need both, why do we struggle toward the light? What is our obligation to keep the balance? And so on and so forth. Ven's story follows the classic KH flair of making friends, exploring all the quirks of the world around him, and helping people who need help for the sake of being good. And he embraces his task with such raw enthusiasm and kindness that despite being set up to be the linchpin of the next batch of mind-screw insanity, one can't help but find him surprisingly charming rather than expectedly annoying. And finally, Aqua's story handles the actually canon events and heroics of the story, so much so that when one plays her story, one can't help but feel like she's the game's "true" protagonist. She's thus far been in charge of taking out not one, but all three main badguys of the three worlds I've thus played, and single-handedly took on one of the most dangerous recurring bosses. Awesome.

The cast itself is wonderful this time around, and once again, I'm really finding myself growing attached to a lot of the characters, no small thanks to the amazing vocal cast. Mark Hamill did a wonderful job with Master Eraqus, but Leonard Nimoy's portrayal of Master Xehanort absolutely blew me out of the water. Master Xehanort blends KH's traditional big, loud, in-your-face villain with it's traditional sharp, grizzled, wise-but-a-know-it-all mentor. It's a brilliant combination, and Nimoy nails it right on the head. Combined with a surprisingly classy design (dammit Square, stop designing jealousy-inducing impossibly cool coats) and his omnipresent evil slouch, he's quickly on the road to becoming my favorite villain of the series.

In fact, BBS has a lot of great villains this time around. I've seen preciously little of Vanitas (who's true identity got revealed surprisingly quickly in this installment), but from what I've seen, he's big, he's fun, and absolutely unapologetic. No complex motivations or sympathetic backstory or heartbreaking desire to regain memories or find his own identity or be good. Vanitas is just pain evil. And it's an evil that's so obnoxious and in your face that it crosses the line twice back into guiltily endearing. That and he's got a kickass battle theme.

Of course, our band of heroes is just as much of a treat. I was wondering how I was going to warm up to Ven, having the appearance of a this-can't-be-anything-but-plot-significant Roxas clone. However, he manages to stands out as his own character, and a very endearing one at that. He's perfected the aesthetic of cheer and optimism, even more so than Sora. And while Sora's burdened by the Shonen Hero dilemna of having motivations for his friends hindered by saving worlds, Ven's motivations are friendship alone, making him hit the theme harder and stronger than Sora did. Combined that with a still present reckless determination and a troubled but good-hearted attitude, he has a character execution that I find myself really enjoying.

Also, I'm happy to report that Aqua is easily the best written girl thus far in the series. Not only is she really strong and really competent, but she's been following an interestingly progressive writing style Square has been following lately-not making it an issue she's female. Really, the fact that she's a girl comes up very rarely in the game, and when it does, it's off-handed and generally irrelevant. And she's got an attitude that I really like-a knight in shining armor through and through. She's by no means spunky or rebellious, but if she sees something wrong, she fixes it by herself without question, and won't stop until the job's done. With recent mad love for anti-heroes, hot bloodedness, and deconstruction, seeing such a good-motivated maturity in it's purest form is oddly refreshing. She makes for a badass character in the non-traditional traditional way.

The only character I'm having a little trouble warming up to is Terra, who takes on a Riku-like role of needing to deal with the darkness within (especially compared to his goody-goody light filled friends), but lacking Riku's more sympathetic problems of personal ambitions hurting people you're close to, guilt, and dealing with the consequences of your actions. That and he thinks it's a good idea to seek the wise and honest counsel of Disney Villains. But the game is young, and his involvement with Master Xenohart and and Vanitas, he's still got time for interesting development.

Thus far, I only have a few small complaints in the game. The first, and biggest, is that while all the worlds are big and spacious, they tend to feel empty, with a lack of NPCs and activity. With woodlands and canyons, this isn't so bad, but when you go to the big damn Radiant Garden and don't see another soul around save for one lonely Moogle Shop, it creates a surprisingly eerie and disappointingly static environment. Also, while the graphics are generally top-notch, to the point where they can match the PS2's cutscenes, sometimes they do get a little rocky and slow down the system, most notably in Maleficent's Castle in the Enchanted Dominion. If I really wanted to be picky, I'd mention how sometimes the Unversed seem a little too nondescript for enemies, especially compared to the adorable Eldritch Abominations that were the Heartless and the creepy-cool Nobody designs. But at this point, I'm just being a bit of a fussbudget.

But all in all, Birth By Sleep is a wonderful game, and writing out this review only makes me want to go back and play it on my own. In fact, I just may go and do that. Once I'm done with class. And showering. And actually eating this week.

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_{Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep is published and distributed by Disney Interactive and Square Enix. Image credit to IGN, Gamespot, and Kingdom Hearts Ultimania.}

Let's Play: Shining Force, Resurrection of the Dark Dragon

I've recently discovered that we're all going to go insane if we read/write post after post on School Days. So to break up the action, as well as get me some training into the magical world of video reviews, I have decided to create a Let's Play of Shining Force: Resurrection of the Dark Dragon.

Word on the yard that SF: RotDD is a huge ripoff of one of my favorite game series of all time, Fire Emblem. This was alone to get me curious, because Fire Emblem is kind of a cult classic/indie sort of game, so you really have to be a pretty special kid on the block to even want to rip it off. I've played a few hours and...yeah. It's special. Certainly worthy of some delicious websnark.

Gosh, I can't help but feel a little nervous. This is something of a final frontier. And you can already tell that this is painfully a first web video. But self-depreciation is for another day! Blogger's having a little trouble uploading it, so thank goodness for YouTube.