Fanbetch Reviews: School Days, Episode 2

Hello and welcome to Part Two of Fanbetch Reviews' review of School Days. I sincerely apologize for the recent and unforeseen slip in my schedule. I honestly thought I can keep up my work between working full time Walmart temporarily and an online philosophy class dealing with modern ethical issues. Even with about 50 hours of my week taken up by work and class, and even with sleep factored in, that's still about 62-69 hours a week to kick around. And yet I still don't know where all the time goes. There must truly be a beast within me with an insatiable craving for JRPGs at off hours. And that's a shame. Either way, I will do my absolute best to ensure that this blog at least has one post a week. Thank you very much for keeping up with it despite the scant entries.

Ah yes, but to the plot. We left off with Makoto, the generic pasty harem lead loser somehow winning the heart of the most beautiful and kind girl in school. Stop me if you've heard this one. But his tomboyish friend who sits next to him in class sets them up, and then kisses him in public, because it turns out that she loves him too. Again, stop me if you've heard this one. So since our hero is brutally aware of the vapid love triangle surrounding him, he decides to get both his tomboyish friend and his new girlfriend together to have a frank discussion of where they stand, and set boundaries and resolve any lingering conflicts that could get away of their mutual friendship and happiness. Ah, my apologies-he just ignores that and goes on a date with his girlfriend while she's totally in the dark that her best friend wants to jump his bones. Don't know how I got those two confused.

Anyway, it's time for episode two, the date episode! I admit, I was being brutally and unfairly hard on Makoto and the show the first part of the review. I mean, the guy was a nervous loser around the girl he had a crush on. You've been there before-you're on the internet. Thank goodness that the show is kind enough to rush to the aide of my critical faux pas and prove itself quite worthy of all the bile and hatred that I threw at it.

Dude. If you're stupid enough to look at lingerie models on any date with your girlfriend, let alone the first one, and it's the first thing you do when just looking at magazines at a kiosk, some would say you barely qualify for oxygen, let alone the company of a woman. I can't believe I'm not making this up. I mean gracious, asking her to have sex on the first date would be more noble than this. You're at least implying you'd like to do it with her. Though once again, I do love Kotonoha's ambiguous facial expressions. This one is that of a woman quietly scolding herself for forgetting her can of Extra Burn Mega Mace.

So needless to say:

Fool Meter: 5

And if I could find some justifiable reason to put another ten points on, you know I would.

Man, here's something that's always bugged me about anime finally being addressed. You know how if a guy goes on a date with a chick, he always plays videogames in front of her to, I dunno, prove how awesome and nerdy he is? Don't do that. I mean, I'm not saying it's not fun to watch other people play videogames, quite the contrary. But to not even invite your girlfriend to play? Not a single one-on-one match? I mean, I know not everyone can pick up a controller and string combos in Street Fighter right off the bat, but come on man, you don't have to be a humanitarian to see this.

Fool Meter: 6

And then he even goes to ask her for more quarters.

Fool Meter: 7

Man, I made that whole comment about betting that we'd manage to get this count all the way to 100 entirely in jest. Gosh, this is worse than I thought. If this is just how far we've gotten on the second episode...goodness, I suddenly feel very invested in this.

This is the only one I don't get. I mean, you're chances of a second date with me would be gone if you looked at porno on our first date, and your chances of walking away with all of your toes unbroken would be long gone if you were playing videogames without me and then asked me to pay for it. But if you could some how get me to stay for about three more seconds, carrying a huge tray of sweets for me would probably be the only prayer you have for any of the above. "Holy Jesus Christ, I don't know what truly godlike blond moment I had to ever be attracted to you, but if you think I'm going to stay around f-U R HAS CAEK FOR S-TYPE?"

I feel like I shouldn't put a point on the fool meter for this, since I really don't get what's running through Kotonoha's head, but as I said, I'm now dead set on breaking 100, so I'll do it for giggles. Plus, you know, I'm still angry about the lingerie mag thing.

Fool Meter: 8

And then on the way home, Kotonoha gets attacked by what appears to be a...blue-collar office zombie. Zombies off duty walking around Tokyo bring back memories of Megatokyo. Like I need anything else to make my viewing experience more painful.

So Makoto comes to try to protect her, and she r-oooooh my goodness. Just look at this picture. Makoto is screaming like a little girl. And he's even got his wee little fists in the air with his shoulders up like a frightened kitten. Oh ho ho ho man. Kotonoha looks cool and collected in comparison. I mean, this guy lives in Japan and acts like he's never seen a zombie before. So Kotonoha takes charge and apologizes for causing any trouble, and thus averts the crisis. Picking and losing a fight with a drunk on your first date. That makes you a jerk and a wuss. Two great things that make a great boyfriend.

Fool Meter: 9

So ends easily the worst date in history. Your new boyfriend has shown that he can't keep it in his pants for a half hour, he plays videogames and makes you pay for it (and PS3 games can go for like, fifty bucks these days man, that's not cheap), and even if he brings you trays of delicious sweets, he's too chicken pansy to fight of a sloshed zombie. I mean, sure, people have bad days and deserve second chances and all that, but there's bad days, and then there's failing as a sentient life form. But just in case we need the period at the end of "Don't hit the door on your way out." handed to us on a silver platter, Makoto ends the date on this note:

"MWA MWA MWA MWA"

Fool Meter: 10

Makoto, do you hear that smashing sound? That's your chance at this chick ever giving you the time of day for the rest of your life being pile-driven into the pavement. And yes School Days, that includes the time if night too, so you can get your ideas out of that gutter.

Ah, yeah. And did I mention that he manages to pull all this off before the opening credits roll?

Sekai, of course, can't stand the sight of her crush not being able to tell the difference between handling a girl and handling a vending machine. Not to mention she's still struggling with the guilt she feels over sucking face with Makoto. So after insisting that it was just a "hello kiss" (another common anime excuse-why doesn't anyone call someone out on this? I mean, this is Japan. Hiccuping in public calls for an ten-minute long apology, let alone kissing an acquaintance out the blue), she decides to help Makoto. She does this by giving him two tickets to the movies and all but grope him in the school hallway as she begins to narrate how awesome it would be to make out in a movie theatre. Completely inoffensive and platonic.

Fool Meter: 11

And yeah, thanks camera, I was really hoping I'd get to see Sekai's butt shoved into my face. Really. Thanks.

AAAAAAAAAAH SETSUNA IS EVIL SETSUNA IS EVIL SETSUNA IS EVIL

So as Sekai heads back to class, she's confronted by Setsuna. Being an emissary of the Dark Lord, has enough brain tissue to realize that Sekai clearly still has a thing for Makoto. Setsuna tells her that she was sure those tickets were bought so that Sekai could go out to watch a movie with Makoto, and wonders why she gave them away. Still spiraling in a state of self-denial, Sekai pretty much laughs her off. So Setsuna wanders off to tempt more pure souls.

Makoto decides to take a massive dip into his feminine side the night before the movie by reading more of his girly-pink dating advice book he can find. After booking up on movie dates, he then proceeds to fangirl over the thought of maybe getting to kiss Kotonoha, and needing to get his hair and nails done for the big occassion. And if you asked me, I think that girly love manual worked a little too well. I mean look at that face. You know you're in a bad place when Shuichi Shindo looks more butch than you. I hope you're paying attention to this Taisuke, because you may have a chance after all.

Makoto continues his romp through womanhood on his next date with Kotonoha. The fact that Kotonoha even sees the slightest chance left for a future with this foolbag makes me seriously question her mental health. But even Kotonoha's saint-like patience is starting to wear thin. While Makoto is totally engrossed in the super-girly romance movie that they're watching, she just sighs at the fact that she could have been watching Toy Story 3 instead.

Oh wait, but this movie does have a point! Well, a pointish. It turns out it's a clumsy metaphor used to compare Makoto, Sekai, and Kotonoha to the players in a crazy, cliched love triangle, and provides very vague foreshadowing of all the hell that is about to ensue. A crappy chick flick used in comparison to this show? How surprisingly apt. And I'm amazed that I actually have something to snark about dealing with the show within the show, but if you sleep in the same bed as your romantic rival, I can think of at least three solutions to the entire problem*.

Because the entertainment industry is intensely formulaic and catered to serve the lowest common denominator, the movie has a sex scene. True to his style, Makoto decides to answer the cry of his sudden boner, and decides that now, right at this moment, is the best time to kiss Kotonoha. Please. I'm sure this is common sense. You just. Don't kiss the girl you like on the second date during a sex scene. Just please. I mean, this is the person who you read girly mags in front of on your first date. It's just. No. Come on.

I sincerely enjoy Kotonoha's facial expressions more than I should, but I still love this one. She either taking careful mental notes or disappointed that the scene isn't hot enough for her.

Oh dear lord above, it looks like the love child of Muddy Mudskipper and Porky Pig.

Fool Meter: 12

So in what's probably going to be the last moment of genuine intelligence in this entire show, Kotonoha smacks one up. But here's the thing: we never actually get to see the slap happen. Instead we get this digression shot on the "No Smoking" sign with a slap sound in the background, then we cut to this shot of the aftermath. What, you're the biggest fanservice show in the world, you assume I want Sekai's butt shoved in my face for no reason, yet you fail to believe I want to see Makoto get a few teeth knocked out of him by a Japanese schoolgirl? That's exceptionally presumptuous School Days.

And what's unbelievable is despite recieving what he needs ten times over, Makoto is still stupid. He thinks that the best way to apologize to Kotonoha is to ramble on and on that the whole idea was actually Sekai's. When Kotonoha inquires further, clearly a little wary about what connection her friend could have to this chump (even more so now, upon realizing no rational human being can stand him), Makoto doesn't get the hint, and just babbles on about Sekai and how she gave him the tickets and the advice to suck her face in a movie theater. Wow.

Fool Meter: 13

While I admit screaming at Makoto for being an idiot in front of all his friends and teachers right out of nowhere in the middle of class is probably what the little urchin deserves...bad form Sekai. So the two sit behind the desk and pass notes, as Sekai tries to figure out what the heaven Makoto did. When she figures out he was reading a girly dating book, she opens a fresh can on him, telling him to throw away his book and actually, you know, act like a good boyfriend. Hell, act like an intelligent human being! Of course, Taisuke is still so blinded by love, he just oggles his Makoto and squees like a giggling fangirl at how happy the two are. Yeah, that's another thing. Get used to everyone acting like a complete idiot. It's only going to get worse.

"Why hello there! I'm Makoto's childhood friend from Middle School, not High School as this awful subbing says. I most certainly will not be making this mess of a romance any more pointlessly difficult and uninviting in the future."

So Makoto makes one last, desperate attempt to bail himself back into Kotonoha's favor, but very reasonably, he's pretty much ruined her view of anything good in this relationship. However, insted of doing what any self-respecting girl would do and take the trash to the curb, she just avoids him. When Makoto does confront her, the fact that the two of them can't talk to each other for the life of each other once again rears its ugly head. I think the anime is trying to imply that it's really the lack of communication that is getting in the way of their feelings, and that's definitely a huge contributing factor, but it still dramatically looks over the fact that Makoto is an appalling excuse for a potential romantic partner. Why would you even want to communicate with someone who reads porn on your first date, nabs your quarters, gets into fights with drunks, and tries to snag a kiss with you during a sex scene of a stupid, girly movie? I say just keep with the whole philosophy of "talk to the hand, scum bum". And make sure it's full contact. And let us get to see it this time.

Sekai overhears the whole problem though, and still feeling a little guilt riddled, she tries to set them up again by talking to Kotonoha. She is trying to be nice and help them be able to talk things out, but the whole scene plays out rather creepily. I mean, it's sunset, there's nobody for miles, and she confronts one loan, weary girl about and darkly asks why she's going in the opposite direction of the train, and if she's trying to avoid someone? That weirds me a little. I don't know why.

So not content with just having a relationship on the rocks, Makoto decides to give mixed signals to poor Taisuke. And Taisuke, of course, just eats it up. I mean look at that face. Look at that "O-of course I want your girly girl instruction book of love, Makoto-sempai!"expression. Please. Please tell me I'm not the only one seeing this. But then again, we've already established the potency of that girly book, so it's probably just warping Taisuke's tiny mind. Maybe it's just the dating advice version of House of Leaves.

So Kotonoha tells Sekai that a lot of her unease and worry about her relationship with Makoto comes from the fact that she was constantly bullied and harassed because of her beauty and her huge chest. She incited a lot of anger from guys and girls alike, so she's really nervous about being around other people, especially guys who only want her for her for her bewbies. Sekai does what any rational minded girl would do: encourage her to stay with Makoto anyway and give him another chance. Even though she gave him two and he still royally screwed up. Because all boys are sick perverts no matter what you do, and you're a girl, so you should just get a boyfriend and roll with it, amirite?

Fool Meter: 14

And gives her an encouraging boob squeeze while she's already worried about being harassed about her breasts.

Fool Meter: 15

I seriously don't get what it is with heterosexual women in anime need to get their hands all over chicks for fun and games. I mean, this trope never shows up in America, the culture where it's totally okay for one of my best friends and her best gal pal to claim they're two men who got gay married in Canada.

Thank goodness we get to end this episode on as dull a surprise as the last one. Kotonoha decides that she wants to give the little jerk another chance, so she just meets him up on the train platform and kisses him, again, something she was really uncomfortable with before.

Fool Meter: 16

Gracious, look at Kotonoha. She looks like she's about to cry. Not that I can really blame her.

---ooo---

And that's part two of the pinnacle of it's genre, School Days. Stay tuned for the next episode, the "last episode genuinely resembling an endearing story before everything divebombs to crazytown". In it, we ask thus: would you like some loli with your fanservice?

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School Days Episode 1 Review

School Days Episode 3 Review

School Days Episode 4 Review

School Days Episode 5 Review

School Days Episode 6 Review

_{School Days and all associated media is developed and copyrighted by 0verflow, with the anime produced and copyrighted by TNK. All rights reserved. And they can damn well keep it.}

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_{*1) Threesome}

_{2) Gay Married}

_{3) FREE ICE CREAM}

Fanbetch Reviews: School Days, Episode 1

Today's Rejection Letter Recipe: "It's Just Not What We're Looking For" a la mode

1. Take one rejection letter

2. Shove in bowl of ice cream

3. Eat

---ooo---

Imagine everything wrong about dating sims combined with everything wrong about high school comedy, and then make it written by the most elaborate troll in history. Now imagine that troll thought anime fans were all heavily lobotomized, give that troll a very unhealthy fixation with women's breasts, legs, and buttocks, and bring it to write fresh out of watching the Star Wars prequels.There's something really cheep about taking shots at bad books, shows, and games, especially on the internet, but this is something that needs to be addressed. I consider it a PSA. The subject of this review is probably the most famous good-freaking-horrible anime in existence: School Days.

This twelve-episode anime is nothing short of concentrated ignorance. I swear that this show has made me stupider by watching it. It took me two weeks just to be able to form coherent thoughts again. And if you still don't understand how bad this anime is, it has the honor of being the most popular anime on YouTube. Just. Let that sink in a moment.

Speaking of trolls, our hero of this story is a high school nobody named Mako-AH OH MY GOD LOOK AT THOSE FACES IN THE BACKGROUND WHAT THE HELL

Sorry just had a THEY DO NOT HAVE EYES THAT IS JUST TERRIFYING anyway. Our "hero" of this story is named this bland yet still effeminate looking Makoto. Spoiler alert: this child will become nothing short of the heavyweight champion of asshats. I mean, even more so than harem comedy leads. I have never seen the portrayal of someone so naturally, inherently, and aggressively jerkalicious in my entire life. And I've watched the later seasons of House MD. As you can plainly see, he's a single brunette nerdy loser who's never been within ten feet of a girl in his entire life, so you can bet your ass that all the pretty young high school girls are going to want nothing more than take a romp in his girl shorts. Because sexually inexperienced, nerdy perverts drive the ladies wild in high school.

Since this is a harem comedy in Japan, he falls in love with the most gentle, beautiful, kind of doormatty, big-chested woman he can find on his local subway route-Katsura Kotonoha. Makoto, like every mentally sound and healthy human being, expresses his admiration for Kotonoha by creepily staring at her on the bus every day. Never talks to her, never says hello or introduces himself, just stares at her jugmarines. And take secret pictures of her on his cell phone. Man, why don't kids just have the balls to ask a girl out these days? It's the snorkleblacking 21st Century! I mean, I was very prompt in asking my girlfriend out after...admiring her in secret for…a year…and…a half it's different for me I'm the delicate type.

Surgeon General's Warning: Do not place School Days directly in front of any mirror or other reflective device.

Now we meet part two of the reason why everything is about to go wrong-Sekai Saionji. She's the other half cliche Japanese schoolgirl love interest-tough but indecisive, tomboyish but not so much it would mar her girlish cuteness, and the more she spews "baka", punches him, and insists she doesn't want to be with him, the more it means she's totally into him. By their powers combined, they form a singularity of 90% of everything that's wrong with high school romantic comedies.

I'd normally suggest such obvious cliches would prove to be a deconstruction of the genre, but this show is so but I am painfully reluctant to give that show any kind of credit. Not because of the existence or lack of creativity, coherent story telling, or effort put into characterization and development. Really, it's because the show annoys me that much. Yes, I am spitefully withholding an English Major view of this show. Anyone who knows me should be trembling in their boots right now. Welcome to School Days, bitches.

So the two bicker and pass notes back and forth like a bunch of middle school girls, and uh-oh, Sekai found out about Makoto's creepy cell phone photo. She asks if it's the recent cell phone love charm going around: if you take a cell phone picture of the one you have feelings for and nobody finds out, your love will be fulfilled (which sounds just ridiculous enough and sounding just enough like encouraging stalking to be popular). Makoto insists that Saionji needs to keep her googly animu eyes in her own business, but being the little spitfire/source of romantic conflict, she refuses and continues to pester him. And of course, they sit next to each other, which is basically the anime equivalent of destiny grading their spinal chords together with a soldering iron.

Then we meet Maktoto's dumbass friend, Taisuke. He fills the anime cliché of the hot blooded and overly sexed best friend. Following the tradition of any man in this role, he's so engrossed in Makoto's love and sex life that the only reasonable explanation is homoeroticism. This guy in particular gives off an uncomfortable aura similar to Brucie from Grand Theft Auto 4. Any character fitting this roll has the potential to either be the best or the most annoying character in the show. However, in order to really win over the audience's heart in a harem anime, the best friend needs to be boisterous and encouraging, but also humorous, relaxed, and with an odd sort of mature sophistication. And Taisuke is...yeah. No.

Which is totally not overcompensating or everything.

So Saionji takes Makoto to the roof since she has the keys to do so (giving a horny teenage girl the keys to the entire rooftop, yep, that's thinking ahead), and tells Makoto she's become BFFs with Kotonoha, and intends to help Makoto hook up with Kotonoha in any way she can. This also begins something I unintentionally love about this show: Kotonoha's ambiguous facial expressions. I don't know what it is about them, but trying to intemperate them is my favorite thing. This one's easy though-why dis woman shovin' her boobs in my boobs yo.

Makoto a complete buffoon, is so worried about his secret slipping that he shoves Saionji into the gate in the most brutish and suggestive way possible. I think this calls for the start of a meter to record how many brutish, unwarranted, cruel, and generally assholish moves will be preformed in this anime. I think I'll call it the Fool Meter.

Fool Meter: 1

I am willing to bet money that we'll crack 100 by the time this show is over. You think it's impossible with it just being twelve episodes but trust me. This is the most intelligent of the episodes. And I can already feel my brain starting to atrophy.

Saionji assures Makoto that she didn't tell anyone, and it's back to doing stupid anime things. And I'm seriously not kidding about the excessive number of boob, gam, and butt shots in this show-the ratio between them and seeing the character's face is about 1:1. I'm trying to be dignified and edit out as many as they can, but I swear, sometimes the story events make them completely unavoidable. I don't even know if that camera angle is physically possible.

Oh yeah, and the human being attached to those legs is Setsuna, the world's punishment for anyone who ever had a thing for preteen girls (even though she's the exact same age as everyone else in the class. Which makes the implications so much better). She's supposed to be straight up fanservice, I guess, but I can't help but look at her and be chilled to the bone. I mean look at those blood-red eyes. Look at those baby-killing bangs. Look at that hair ribbon which looks like it was one last, desperate attempt to make this girl look cute and not like she'd crush your conscious sanity just by thinking about it. And she's always just staring and never talking. Gyaaaaa.

Yes, Taisuke actually calls Makoto to frantically ask if he's having sex. Right at that moment. The hilarity of this on its own really deserves no comment, but I'm having a blast thinking up the possible situations that could have possibly made him want to ask that out of the blue. I mean, when does your train of thought ever meander to whether or not your friends are getting their jollies on right at that second, let alone be strong enough to want to call them up and ask them?

I'd slap a point on the Fool Meter for this, but I'm better than that. In my eyes, Taisuke is the Fool Meter.

We then get to see the master of information gathering Saionji is. She reports to Makoto that she likes to read (which he already figured out), she loves to eat noodles, and she has a big chest. I can't believe that's all she managed to get from a whole class talking to her and then a whole phone conversation that night. What were they doing the rest of the time, playing tic-tac-toe and "you hang up"? That's abysmal spy skills and communication skills. But the "big news" she manages to bring to Makoto is that they all are going to eat with each other on the roof. Makoto is fully aware that his charm and sex appeal is zero, so he's naturally terrified to meet Kotonoha. But since Sekai is the tomboyish and belligerent love interest, she drags him by the face all the way up to the roof. She insists that Kotonoha is interested in someone, but she doesn't really have a genuine crush, so Makoto needs to seize the day while he still can.

Kotonoha is very polite, and offers them homemade sammiches of which one of the primary ingredients seems to be strange, green goo. Which you would think would be your first sign to take them with a bit of caution, but neither Makoto nor Saionji see anything wrong with it in the slightest, and both of them take a huge honking bite out of it.

Fool Meter: 2

This, my friends, is anime cooking at its finest. I don't care if it's your first time cooking Kotonoha; my dog can probably make a passable sammich if she put her tiny mind to it. There are preciously few opportunities to screw up when you're just putting meat, cheese, and sliced vegetables between two slices of bread. I know the temptation to experiment with the household mysterious green goo is a mighty siren, but nobody's going to hold it against you if you spare that venture for round two. But Makoto, once again having the dating savvy of an artichoke, stuffs the whole box down his fat face. While I hate Makoto and all he stands for, even I have to give him some cred for taking all that to spare a girl's feelings. So I'll save slapping a point on the Fool Meter, my brother. This time.

WHAT A DREAMBOAT

Sekai leaves so that Makoto can work his nonexistent magic, and many a stale, awkward anime conversation ensues. Kotonoha mentions that Makoto is different than she expected and…that's pretty much it. So I guess everyone on this show has abysmal conversation skills. I've seen some pretty forced couples in anime, but jeepers, this is just insane. These two have so little common ground I'm surprised one of them couldn't handle the other's gravitational field of awkward and imploded. But because Kotonoha either has the patience of a saint or the genre savvy of a concrete block, she actually seems to find Makoto endearing, or at least amusing.

So after lunch, Makoto decides to suddenly grow a spine and admit that he likes Kotonoha. This is a fairly significant plot development, as well as a pretty significant turn of events and how Makoto's character operates. But the cameraman seems to have other things on his mind, so he does a slow, sexy, full-body pan up Sekai's body when she's wearing nothing but a button-down shirt in her bed in a position that makes her look like she's in a Covergirl ad. Which is awesome, because I can make this collection of screenshots look completely out of context to what the show is actually about.

Uuuuuh...well damn, I think I've accidentally discovered what this show's about.

Take note: the ideal place to tell someone you like them is on a scummy platform in front of a moving train surrounded by subway perverts. While I don't believe the degrading stereotypes that geeky anime fans aren't exactly smooth operators, I can certainly see how that sentiment may have emerged.

After a few gratuitous boob and butt shots, Kotonoha talks to Sekai about what happened. She also tells Sekai (and get ready for a huge shock), the guy she mentioned that she was interested in turns out to be Makoto. Of course. Turns out she could feel that someone was watching her, and when she figured it out, instead of instantly pegging him as the neurotic, gutless, ugly little creeper he is, she falls for him. So even though they know nothing about each other, don't talk to each other, and most of their relationship is rooted in passive-aggressive stalking, they're now dating.

Fool Meter: 3

So Makoto's waiting on the train, and Sekai lauds how awesome it is that he and Kotonoha are together and how proud she is of them and blah blah blah. And Makoto thanks her, as did Kotonoha previously. So Sekai is pretty much the most respected friend that either of them have.

Fool Meter: 4

So with the shock and unpredictability of a cliche marching at you down a hill in broad daylight while leading a brass bands and banging a frying pan with a wooden spoon, Sekai takes the first opportunity she has to ruin absolutely everything. With her tongue. And don't worry sports fans, we get a good, long, hearty look at her panties through the whole event.

Welcome to School Days, bitches.

---ooo---

I'll admit that this show seems pretty bland and run-of-the-mill. It's like it's more of an elaborate essay into as many cheesy rom-com cliches we can cram into thirty minutes. Even I was rolling my eyes in the non-ironic way while screen capping and writing. But I assure you, it's hilarious badness expands exponentially as time goes on. I am not going to spoil it for you, but I promise all of you, you do not know what you're getting into. Hell, I don't know what I'm getting into. I'm not kidding about the brain atrophy. My retail grunt job is more intellectually fulfilling than this. Even just remembering what is about to happen is enough to cause a forced shut down.

On the next episode, we are presented every reason why the main couple should break up (they won't), why Sekai needs to actually talk about her conflict of interest (she won't), and Makoto getting his ass handed to him by a drunk. All this and more on the next episode of Fanbetch Reviews! Stay tuned, after I try to wash out my mind with warm soap and water.

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School Days Episode 2 Review

School Days Episode 3 Review

School Days Episode 4 Review

School Days Episode 5 Review

School Days Episode 6 Review

_{School Days and all associated media is developed and copyrighted by 0verflow, with the anime produced and copyrighted by TNK. All rights reserved. And they can damn well keep it.}

The Trials of the Writer

I have officially been working at Walmart for two days, and it has only confirmed that I will go insane unless I manage to find a job I love. It doesn't help that I've discovered my position is "temporary setup", which loosely translates to "heavy box bitch". The red flag really should have come up when I had to watch three separate videos on safe lifting. Needless to say, the alarm was blaring when I was casually asked to put three air conditioner sets back on the shelf all by myself.

Anyway, to the point. The more I work, the more I have to focus on the fact that my job is merely a stepping stone to my true dream-to be a writer. Oh yes, that's the life for me! To be a smarmy, skin-so-untouched-by-natural-light-it's-translucent little glass'd nerd banging at a laptop today as a career. To actually kick back and to listen to the little voices inside my head for pay. And I'd watch the scholars find complex symbolism in my work and rub it in the face of the next generation, thus inspiring them to hate my work and write their own as a retort. And I'd watch as the beloved characters I create are worshiped creepily on the internet, and portrayed as out of character, deviant, overly-angsty lunatics in fanfiction. That is the life I aspire to. This is the world I wish to be a part of!

However! I am not so naive as to know that I have a long way to go before I could ever be in this pantheon, this elite, this heavenly sphere of rich smartasses. It's a massive, brutal road, filled with blood, sweat, and overpaid agents. There are pot holes at every corner, and it takes every little bit of free time you can spare. And you know, being a writer isn't really easy. I'm not kidding. As the title of this blog suggests, there are many massive challenges a writer must face, even outside of getting published and screaming groupies.

WALMART

As mentioned, publishing doesn't happen overnight. A newbie writer is lucky if they get their first book published within two years, and that's without a writer's inherent massive sex appeal. So a writer has to find another way to keep bread on the table, which means a writer needs at least one sucky job on the side. True, getting a sucky job to finance a better career isn't exclusive to the writing field*, but like any creative job, it's a part of the process to the point of being a rite of passage. However, if you're a writer and currently are worried about putting bread on the table, look forward to my next post plugging some excellent recipes for rejection letters.

It's sad, but every good artist, a writer included, needs to eventually look forward to working at a job that is a tad less endearing than one would hope for. On my repertoire, I have worked as a cashier, a heavy box bitch, and a bar wench. And that's just summer jobs. There's something morbidly exciting about wondering what sort of strange and unnatural job I'll get when I'm done with school and out on my own. I'm hoping for either plucky young twenty-something amateur sleuth or sky pirate. Though I'll probably end up working at Starbucks, which is almost kind of straddling the two. Especially with those new mansion with a huge inheritance secret death star kiosks.

I NEED AN EDITOR

I am not an idiot, even if I know five year olds that have a better grasp of spelling and grammar than I. I don't know what it is, but I have no eye for the mechanical aspect of writing. My loyal and beloved readers (both of them) have each found multiple typos and mistakes in my work, despite my hardest efforts to proofread and double check and spell check to my hearts content. I don't know how I've lived here all my life, spoken this language all my life, was reading by age two, writing ever since I was thirteen, and still always manage to forget how to spell "later" versus "latter". I look like I'm doing this on purpose.

If I'm going to be a writer, I definitely need an editor. Ah, that sounds so romantic. Someone who'll correct all your stupid mistakes for you. It doesn't matter if you just spit out a huge, gibbering mess with little thought or consideration, your editor will be by your side to fix up all your stupid mistakes with a bounce in his or her step and a smile on his or her face. Like a butler, or a friendly toaster oven. Mmm, I like the sound of that. But I'd think it would be hard to get someone in on that deal. I mean, do you know who Stephen King's editor is? I don't.

YOU HAVE TO WRITE ALL THE TIME

You really do. Books and articles don't write themselves. I don't know whether it's because I have a slow brain, slow fingers, or someone slapped a flux capacitor on my back again, but it takes a lot of time to write a book, or even just an article here on the blog. Certainly a lot longer than it does to think one up. I've spent the whole day on some of the these blog entries. The last Angel Food and Devil Dogs review took five or six hours to complete. Five hours is a lot of time!That's more than a season of Venture Bros dude! I barely have enough time knit, read yaoi fanfiction, and complain about how bored I am these days.

It's not that it's anything bad or anything. I love to write, so it's not that I regret spending all that time on it. But it can be a bit of a trick managing to balance it into your schedule, especially when things like going to work and actually needing to go to class get in the way. It doesn't help that I'm at a decided disadvantage by being one of the few artists out there who actually needs to sleep. I know some creative art people who can live on three hours of sleep a night, but if I don't get eight hours a pop, the nose goblins that live under my dirty clothes pile starts talking again. So I have to get used to going to bed at 10-11 PM again, which brings back uncomfortable memories of Middle and High School. And summer camp at the Y.

GENERAL INSANITY

Contrary to popular opinion, not all writers are inherently depressed, gay, or crazy. It's more of an occupational hazard. Like any good artist, a writer's job is to both represent and reflect life. And anyone who's lived life for more than five minutes is probably aware of what a massively stressful job it is. Not to mention us American writers have to do so with the English Language, the most gawrdawful cumbersome language there is. It steals words from freaking everyone, it has a million different grammatical rules, and then people go turn punctuation marks into faces. I have a hard enough time describing why The Police are awesome, and you want me to discern inter- and extra-personal cosmology? Why don't you ask me to play "Psychobilly Freakout" with my elbows and blindfolded while your at it?

Just like consorting with the dark one and full-time employment at the Gap, everyone feels the strain of writing a little differently, and everyone deals with it differently. Some people just get swallowed up and do go full-on insane, others turn to alcoholism, isolation, and chicks, or some people like me numb their personality on JRPGs and Britcoms. As for the gay, I have a lot of theories, but the most credible ones have something to do with Shakespeare and/or Microsoft Office 97.

IT'S HARD TO STAY PALE

Bloody summer. I swear, I was just outside the other day needing to warm myself up in the sun, because for some reason, they air condition the employee training room to subarctic degrees below zero. Eventually, since it is summer, I decide I start to feel a little hot, so I go inside. When I take a shower that night? Color. Freaking color. Granted, it's only like, a eensy bit and you can't even see it, but DANG. It's going to take me days to make it go away.

Writers have an image to preserve. I have no idea what it is, but I'm sure it is one. If anything else, every writer needs a visual trademark, and my brunette-to-black-hair against my whitest-kid-on-the-block skin with my monochromatic-and-sometimes-red outfits is mine. Tampering with the image of a writer violates the natural order. And even though I'm whiter than a fifties sitcom, I still have to be on constant vigilance. Doesn't help that I inherited the ability to tan at the drop of a hat from my Mom's side of the family. Needing to go outside-you continue to be the bane of my existence.

FREAKING WRITER'S BLOCK

Some people have an affinity certain good qualities in writing. Some people just seem to be really good at spelling and grammar (and in my opinion, very few people deserve a richer slap for being so...unless they want to be my editor, of course). Some people are really good at thinking interesting plots or narration. Some people have a gift at writing dialog so complex and nuanced that it makes you feel like you really are listening to people talking. Some writers are just good at that intangible, indescribable something that makes something fun to read. The nice thing about all of this is that with a little practice, everyone can get competent in these fields, and it becomes much easier to be able to summon them as time goes on. But nobody, and I mean nobody manages to go steady with inspiration.

Okay, that's not necessarily true. Like everything else, practicing thinking creatively will eventually lead to creative thoughts. The more you learn the rules, the more you learn to twist them and break them down. And yet for some, stupid reason, despite your best intentions, every once in awhile, inspiration will decide she needs to see other people, leaving you an empty mess, staring a a blank screen in Microsoft Word for the last hour or so. And like any other job, when a writer can't write, a writer feel like they've failed the universe. It's an ugly feeling. Thankfully, when inspiration does come back, it comes back with the force of a sledgehammer to the solar plexus. But still, the fact that the feeling will jump you despite best intentions is disheartening. The best and pretty much only method to deal with it is to keep writing things out and hoping good something comes eventually. It's as fun as it sounds.

ENDING STUFF

I've once been told that writing is a lot like flying a plane-the only really dangerous parts are taking off and landing. I've never had a problem getting any sort of written project off the ground, but I guess it's traded off in the fact that ending it is an ordeal. Like this post for instance. I have no idea how I'm going to tie up all the loose ends. I mean, should I go all classic and make some statement like "but in the face of all this, a real writer does not care and blah blah bloop de blah", or should I end with a funny anecdote? Summarize the events in a clever matter? Rick Roll all of you?

Ending any piece of writing is like trying to carry a tray of drinks to the table. Any old jerk can carry and empty tray to the kitchen and put a huge pile of drinks on it. It takes a real hero to be able to carry that all the way back to the living room, find the best place to sit it down, and do so without spilling everything all over the place. But when you do it, you feel like a million bucks. Maybe that's why I have a weak spot for stories that have good endings. They don't need to be happy or sad, but when an author can tie up everything just right, no matter how crazy and ridiculous the events may be, it doesn't feel like it was all that bad when you manage to walk off feeling like you're taking away something. And when you do manage to put that tray down just right without spilling a drop, you can't help but think, "Yeah. Yeah I'm awesome."

I think a lot of things are like that. It takes a lot of effort to do any sort of big project or long-term goal, or short term ones, for that matter, and you'll have good times, bad times, and you'll wonder if you'll ever be able to pull it off. But when you do manage to finish it, whether it just be your chores for the day or building a house, you can't help but wear that smug smile, nod to yourself, and be amazed at how awesome you are. Getting through anything from start to finish is no small task, but when you full it off, the feeling you have can't quite be compared to anything else.

And I still hate working at Walmart.

_{*Professions exempt from the sucky job clause include lawyers, billionare playboys by day who are superheroes by night, criminal masterminds, and milkmen.}